OC reviews And Tips (Closed)

Review 41 // Rory Grump

Here we have a character that (I think) is from an original universe by MinetaIsAGiantGrape

My comments will be in bold

Character information

I like his design and it's pretty cool, you don't see many bald characters or older characters.

I recommend adding more hobbies since hanging out with people isn't really classed as a hobby. Science is such a broad term, and one of the few things that I can actually talk about with some knowledge. There are a lot of different sections of science, like chemistry, biology, physics, psychology, forensic science, medical science, etc. It's practically impossible to find a job that is just "science" so I recommend doing research about different jobs and what sections of science are used in them. Chemistry and physics seem like the most likely ones he'll use considering that he's trying to work on time-travel.

My main issue here is I don't know whether you just forgot to add this or it's not fleshed out properly so you didn't include it, but where's his personality? Obviously, the most important part of a character is what makes them who they are, which makes this character slightly harder to do since I don't know how he acts or what he's like, but I can still do this.

Relationships

These are pretty good relationships, just make sure if you ever write about this character that the relationships are well presented and you shoe the effect of these people on the character.

Backstory

This is pretty good when you're writing about an average human, but what I don't understand is why would the teachers prey on him? Most young children don't take must interest in science and there's nothing here that indicates that he was a dumb child. Most teachers encourage their students to follow their dreams, especially something as well-grounded in reality as science. As somebody that is currently planning to pursue science as a career, not once has an authority figure told me otherwise, even when I was terrible at it.

Stats

I recommend giving him at least one 1 since he has a 5 stat and it'll balance him out.

Final thoughts
I like this character so far, but I think that his main trait is that he likes science, so in my opinion, you need to develop him further and make him come into more then his job/hobbies. But apart from that, good job.

*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*