Another bnha oc, this time by BerryHowl
My comments will be in bold
Basics and grounding/character information
I have no problems with the design and the sounds like an interesting character so far. However, I have a couple of issues with the personality. First, dyslexia isn't a personality trait, it doesn't add to the person's personality or anything like that. Someone can be self-conscious about it, but even then it doesn't just disappear. Forgive me but I don't quite understand how he used to have it.
I also recommended giving him a more detailed personality, as most people have a lot more than a couple of traits.Also eating isn't really a hobby and neither is napping (but you can get away with it with a push). So, also add some more unique hobbies.
Relationships
I like that he looks up to Dabi but Dabi finds him annoying. I don't really have any issues here expect to develop these further and make sure that they all make sense.
Backstory
Be very careful using such a tragic backstory sure that the consequences are shown. You have to show the effects of these actions and make sure to tackle abuse in the correct manner. Research about stuff like this and make sure all of it is plausible and well explained. For example, why is his mother like this? Why does she not want him knowing about his quirk? Surely he would have accidentally discovered his quirk since they manifest on average before age four and they're often discovered by the child themselves? You have to make sure that this works because it's easy to get backlash with such tragic pasts.
Other
This is a well-balanced quirk and would work in the universe. Just make sure you follow the rules you've established for it.
Stats
These stats are fine and I don't really have anything to add here.
Final thoughts
This is a decent character and could be an interesting addition to the league if written well. A few improvements here and there could really add to the character and make him come into his own.*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*
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OC reviews And Tips (Closed)
AléatoireREQUESTS ARE CLOSED Designed a new character but want to know others thoughts on it? Want to get some tips on how to make a good character or to be pointed in the right direction? Well, you're in the right place! I'm here to check your guys' OCS an...