REQUESTS ARE CLOSED
Designed a new character but want to know others thoughts on it? Want to get some tips on how to make a good character or to be pointed in the right direction? Well, you're in the right place! I'm here to check your guys' OCS an...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Alright this is a pretty cool concept just make sure not to throw everything at the reader at once and confuse them.
Character information
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I like the sound of him for the most part but I'm not a fan of the kundere/yandere thing, even though you corrected yourself. Putting characters into stereotypical personality types makes it hard to create a unique and memorable character. Also be sure to not glorify any kinda violence and stuff since your character is sadistic and stuff. (Not saying all people that are sadistic are violent but it comes requently in characters. On the same topic, add more detail to the personality.
Add some more hobbies that are actual hobbies, since smoking is a habit/addiction and two of the other things are crimes.
Relationships
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Like I've said in other reviews, I'm not a fan of unknown parents because it's common and normally not very well done. There has to be reasoning behind it and be developed so that they make sense. That goes for all the relationships and also give these char a tree last names so they feel more real.
Backstory
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Alright so this is a very negative Backstory and you gotta be careful with those. Add some kinda motivation and positivity to his story so that it makes more sense that he keeps moving forward.
You also have to add a lot more detail and explain things more because it feels kinda underdeveloped and though there's an idea here, it needs working on.
Other
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
You should probably explain how and why he has these abilities and also reference them in the Backstory. The rest is fine though.
Stats
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
S
tats are pretty well balanced so there's no issues here.
Final thoughts Overall, this character has some cool ideas but they need further developing and a couple of changes to allow for more growth and development.
*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*
