REQUESTS ARE CLOSED
Designed a new character but want to know others thoughts on it? Want to get some tips on how to make a good character or to be pointed in the right direction? Well, you're in the right place! I'm here to check your guys' OCS an...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
This sounds pretty cool but like please explain the sandwich meat bit because I honestly have no idea what that means. So in short juts make sure you can explain your universe to the audience without losing them.
Character information
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Okay so this sounds pretty alright. I lowkey like his name because it's cute which contradicts everything else about him, which works. His appearance is fine but since he's a demon, maybe add some other worldly mutations, even just cryptic marks.
The personality is the main thing I have an issue with. Since this is a yandere character, I know that yanderes are pretty one note. However, he should have a more distinct personality for when before (y/n) comes around. How does he act on his own? Is he passive or aggressive? Angry? Cold? Demanding? You gotta plan that out because this is a reader x yandere thing, but you need something else to make him a more distinct character, because there are a lot of these characters out there.
Also more hobbies.
Relationships
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Okay, here is where issues come around. Portraying a character like this means you have to make them be seen as negative and that the relationships are unhealthy and toxic. Don't try to justify him killing his parents, he's still a murderer. You also have to be careful killing off parents, especially in that way because it's common and gives me creepypasta vibes.
Be careful writing relationships like this, don't romanticise any abusive situation. There's a chapter in this book on how to handle abusive characters.
Backstory
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
This is a lot. Okay so my main point is figure out stuff to do with his life before his love interest.
Again, be careful with such a dangerous and toxic character. You can't portray him in a good way, or it glorifies stalkers and abusive relationships, even if that's not your intention.
Other
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Alright, try to maybe come up with some abilities, since he's a demon.
Stats
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I normally recommend only having one five with a one to balance it out so that the character remains balanced.
Final thoughts This is one of those characters that you have to be careful with due to the dark nature of it. My main advice here is make him a character outside if his relationship, there needs to be more to a character then their love interest and also to be careful with everything.
*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*
