REQUESTS ARE CLOSED
Designed a new character but want to know others thoughts on it? Want to get some tips on how to make a good character or to be pointed in the right direction? Well, you're in the right place! I'm here to check your guys' OCS an...
Here we have another creepypasta oc, this time by --ohana
My comments will be in bold
Basics and grounding/character information
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You're correct, demons are cliche but most demons in this fan base aren't exactly scary. In all honesty, this character is great as far as cps fo because most people seem to forget that they are meant to be scary, not just teenage murderers. I don't really have anything to improve on here because this sounds like a genuinely terrifying character if you were to encounter it in real life. A lot of clear effort has been put into this, using a cliche character trope doesn't instantly make the character bad if everything else is unique and good. Cliches don't ruin a character unless it's too much.
Relationships
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This makes sense, but maybe just add more detail and present this if you ever actually write this creepypasta's story.
Backstory
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This is good, the backstory is scary and since it's supernatural, not everything has to be explained. The fear of the unknown is important when dealing with such characters, and whilst certain pieces of information are missing, you couldn't actually afford to give less information about this character to really add to the fear factor of this entity.
Other
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These skills make sense, despite that it is a demon, please be careful making a character overpowered. However, in this situation, it works since it is meant to be scary.
Stats
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All I can suggest here is making one of the 5s a 4 to balance out the character more.
Final thoughts Overall, I really like this cp character and it's one of the best creepypastas I've reviewed so far. However, there is always room for improvement so a few changes here and there wouldn't go amiss. Well done
*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*
