Review 138 // Jericho William Coutheran

76 5 1
                                    

Here is a review for Cinerarium

My comments will be in bold

Basics and grounding

Cool these are always fun

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

Cool these are always fun.

Character information

I've gotta say, you've done a pretty decent job with your words here

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

I've gotta say, you've done a pretty decent job with your words here. This is probably one of the most clear yet descriptive characters I've been given, so good job in that. I like his personality and appearance but there are a couple of things that could be changed to make him better. You could describe his body type, facial structure, eye shape, stuff like that that can really paint a clear picture of his appearance. His personality is very good as far as they go, however, I think that you could add some more traits outside of reference to academic capability. What is he like when he's not working? What traits does he have apart from his intelligence? Adding stuff like that would make him feel a lot more real.

Relationships

Relationships

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

I like these. I particularly like that he has enemies and it's his fault. Just make sure these relationships effect and develop the character because that makes him feel more real.

Backstory

For a rich upbringing, this makes a lot of sense for the character

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

For a rich upbringing, this makes a lot of sense for the character. All I can really say is add more key events in his life to add to his Backstory and also build his personality and add to his character.

Stats

At first glance these stats seem kinda high but they're balanced so there isn't actually any issue here

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

At first glance these stats seem kinda high but they're balanced so there isn't actually any issue here.

Final thoughts
Overall, I really like this character! He sounds realistic and well developed and honestly there's nothing bad I can say about him. Just add a little more to him and he'll be a great character!

*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*

OC reviews And Tips (Closed) Where stories live. Discover now