REQUESTS ARE CLOSED
Designed a new character but want to know others thoughts on it? Want to get some tips on how to make a good character or to be pointed in the right direction? Well, you're in the right place! I'm here to check your guys' OCS an...
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Sounds pretty neat but like every review I do with similar concepts, I gotta tell you to remember to explain new concepts and not throw everything at your reader at once so they don't get confused.
Character information
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Okay so she sounds pretty cool and I don't really have any issues here. All I have to say is be careful trying to put so much into her DNA and maybe develop her personality more, but that's it really.
Relationships
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Okay so I see discrimination against characters like this a lot and you gotta be careful portraying that kinda hate in an accurate way.
Also be careful writing about being abandoned at birth and the death of a parent because it's very common and borderline cliché. Just try and keep things a little unique and it should be fine.
Backstory
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I guess this works but you definitely need to add more positive aspects in her life. Also, be careful with so much happening and her actions jumping around a lot. Whilst her actions make sense, sometimes it's easy to get lost.
Other
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This is fine just be careful that her powers aren't too op.
Stats
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Stats are reasonably balanced so they're fine.
Final thoughts I think you just need to develop her a bit more and add some stuff to work out a couple of bumps, but apart from that she's a pretty good character, so we'll done.
*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*
