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Designed a new character but want to know others thoughts on it? Want to get some tips on how to make a good character or to be pointed in the right direction? Well, you're in the right place! I'm here to check your guys' OCS an...
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Sounds like a pretty snazzy concept, I like it.
Character information
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Alright so you say later on that she's the protag of this story, so I think you need to add some more traits especially to her personality. Flat characters can work but it's pretty hard to get your readers attention especially when they're the focus of the story. Passive characters don't make good main characters because they tend to make it so that everything seems like coincidence. Maybe build up off of that survival bit, that could be an interesting triat.
Also me careful writing characters this young, she's still a kid so be sure to write her as a child.
Relationships
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Alright these work, just make sure they're consistent and help develop the character further.
Backstory
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Alright this works but you seriously have to think about how young she is, it's incredibly unlikely that a child would be given the opportunity to work under secret organisations. I don't know about America, but in the UK most establishments refuse to hire anyone under the age of 16, due to the potential lawsuits that could come from it since they're working with a child. I can't imagine a group that deals with criminals employing anyone that is under 18. Think baiut the ages and concepts because you said this is meant to be a realistic world.
Do research into real serial killer cases and how they were handled and carried out, since that way the investigation will come across as natural and realistic.
Other
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This works well, no issues here just be careful with the gut instinct thing because it can come across as a short cut if not done correctly.
Stats
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These stats are pretty high. Again, you need to remember she's 14, you need to leave space for her to improve. I normally recommend one five at most and even then have it balanced out with a one. The goal is to have a level character with balanced stats. These also don't quite fit into her personality, you say she's pretty passive and you never mention that she's brave or anything like that. You've gotta look over all of this.
Final thoughts This could be a pretty interesting concept and story, but you have to work out the bumps and figure out the logic and how it all works. Aging the character up would be useful and try and develop her further, making sense is what makes or breaks a story in fiction.
*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*
