REQUESTS ARE CLOSED
Designed a new character but want to know others thoughts on it? Want to get some tips on how to make a good character or to be pointed in the right direction? Well, you're in the right place! I'm here to check your guys' OCS an...
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I think I about get the gist of this but I gotta admit this is kinda confusing. You can say it's in the same universe as bnha but with a different plot or it could be a new universe with a similar concept because I'm not quite sure what you're going for completely.
Character information
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Alright for the most part this is pretty decent. I recommend adding more to her personality and give her a bit more depth then just a sassy character and maybe more motivation for wanting to become a hero. Again, be careful writing younger characters because they can be hard to portray.
Relationships
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Alright these are fine as long as they're developed upon and effect the character.
Backstory
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There are some minor issues with this, most children gain their quirks at about three and they learn how to use it through playing or just keep using it, so she should have some kind of understanding of it. The school system seems to be similar to the bristish school system and there aren't really any tests that result in straight As and stuff. Of course there are occasional testing put they weren't really graded like that and nothing was important until the SATs. This is just something that caught my eye and whilst it's not important, small details are useful and this might not even be the right school system you're going on about lol.
Mainly you need to add more key points in her life and more detail, including motives for her actions and add aspects like studying so that she has reason for her intelligence.
Other
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Alright so her quirk is interesting and I feel like whilst that's a useful take, other flame based quirks present in the universe don't need to ingest chemicals or something like that, so just think that through.
With all those moves and abilities, you should probably add some sort of training into her Backstory whether it's on her own or with a tutor.
Stats
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The majority of these stats are pretty high so maybe lower some of them and also add some justifications to them.
Final thoughts Overall, all you need to do is smooth out some bumps and explain stuff further. Develop this character more so you have more to work with and make her feel more real. This is a pretty decent start though, so good job.
*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*
