REQUESTS ARE CLOSED
Designed a new character but want to know others thoughts on it? Want to get some tips on how to make a good character or to be pointed in the right direction? Well, you're in the right place! I'm here to check your guys' OCS an...
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Alright this is fine but figure out how this works because technology will and has always advanced from the stone ages.
Character information
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Alright there's already so inconsistency with the universe. This clearly isn't our universe if the supernatural is a prominent and normal thing with levels of knowledge about it.
You need to also work on the detail of her appearance such as her body type, weight, height. Also heterochomia is very rare and I don't think pastel eye colours actually exist so if it is like our world, then you need to work on this.
Her personality definitely needs work too, you haven't actually described her personality you've described how other perceive her. Is she brave like people think? Introverted? Extroverted? Funny? Kind? Smart? You have to give her to traits that are set in stone not what others see. There needs to be more detail on top of that.
Relationships
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Missing parents/unknown parents are always iffy because they're used a lot and never really used properly. You also haven't mentioned any step parents or how she was raised or anything like that. Even if she doesn't remember it, it needs to be there to work with.
Work and develop these relationships further and make sure they build and effect the character.
Backstory
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You have to be careful making characters like this because they can been seen as powerful and perfect for no particular reason.
You need to put reason behind these points and figure out her past even of it doesn't come into play, because otherwise the character doesn't seem fleshed out enough.
Other
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You need to show training with magic and stuff because otherwise there's no justification for her to be good at it.
Stats
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Stats are pretty balanced so this is all good.
Final thoughts I feel like this could be a good character but you need to develop her more and figure out what you plan to do with her. Work in worldbuilding and Backstory along with adding more detail and she should be good to go.
*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*
