REQUESTS ARE CLOSED
Designed a new character but want to know others thoughts on it? Want to get some tips on how to make a good character or to be pointed in the right direction? Well, you're in the right place! I'm here to check your guys' OCS an...
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I feel like discrimination for having a power is very common in stories like these and it's often not justified. If you're going to pull something like this, make sure it works and that the discrimination is shown without glorifying something so serious.
Character information
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I quite like the sound of her, she seems interesting. However I think you should add more description to her appearance, like body type, and add more to her personality too, mainly adding more traits to make her feel more human.
Also add some more hobbies because most people like more then one thing.
Relationships
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Cool cool just make sure these relationships help develop and effect the character to make her better.
Backstory
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Okay so I think this works with the context of the world, but I feel like her entire Backstory shouldn't revolve around her abilities. Add more key events in her life that aren't to do with this because that way you get a feel for her character, which is what's most important in making a character.
Other
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This works for the most part but I feel like the first part needs more explanation? I thought that would be obvious because that's a main point in the universe, that people are being discriminated against for their abilities? And discrimination normally includes children aswell, even if it isn't as severe. I don't know really, but maybe do research on real life cases of discrimination such as racism.
Stats
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Stats are balanced, this is fine.
Final thoughts I like the sound of this character, but you need to work out a couple of things and expand on what you already have to make her even better.
*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*
