OC reviews And Tips (Closed)

Review 25 // Narah Howler Miscere

We have a character here that was requested by leantzauwu for their friend  GayCupcake69 because they were too nervous to ask me, and to that I say, don't worry! I'm not here to insult or tear down your character, simply help you improve ^^

My comments will be in bold

Basics and grounding

This is a really cool concept and I think it can be done really well, just try not to over do something like 'the chosen one' thing since that's pretty common in these types of stories.

Character information

Okay so this is a good start, even though this is an original universe, be careful making your character a Mary-Sue. I have no issue with dyed hair or anything like that, but the only way she'd get way with that eye colour is if it's common in that world. Also I was under the impression that only animal souls were possible? Do mystical creature count too? If that's the case you don't want to make having a mythical creatures soul incredibly hard due to the fact that would make your character impossibly rare. Apart from that, I do like the sound of your characters appearence.

I also suggest giving her a wider range of hobbies to vary the character and make her more unique.

Relationships

I don't have much to say here, just make sure that the relationships work out and flow nicely. Make them believable and detailed so that the reader gets attached to the characters. 

Backstory

There is a lot going on in this story. Be careful with the parents are dead thing, it's very common but since there's reasoning behind it I guess it works. Her having three souls is definitely controversial considering you specified only having up to two souls earlier, surely in would be impossible? Be careful with making your chacarter this out of the ordinary in this universe. I understand having your protagonist be different to everyone else, but try not to make her too out of the ordinary, if that makes sense? Also with the YouTube thing, make sure to establish the rules of the universe. Is it exactly the same as ours but with souls? Since people with double souls are frowned upon, how was she able to become this successful? Just stuff like that has to have an answer in order for the bumps to be smoothed down.

Other

Wait back up, her other soul was a god, how is that possible? Good move making that the soul she lost. Word of advice, make sure she doesn't get that soul back, that would make her incredibly overpowered and we don't want that. I like that she doesn't have an insane range of fighting styles, sticking to one works for her.

Stats

I'll give you the same advice I give everybody, have one 5 at most, and if you do have a 5, have at least one 1 in order to balance it out. Stats should mostly be in the mid range, with maybe one being higher and one being lower than the rest in order to balance it out.

Final thoughts
Overall, this universe sounds genuinely cool! I really like the concepts and ideas you've come up with here, this is definitely the type of series I would make my own oc for because I think it's something you can do a lot with. With a few tweaks here and there, your character could be an incredibly well thought out being. Well done!!

*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you of course do not have to listen to what I've said. This us all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*