REQUESTS ARE CLOSED
Designed a new character but want to know others thoughts on it? Want to get some tips on how to make a good character or to be pointed in the right direction? Well, you're in the right place! I'm here to check your guys' OCS an...
Ayyye ya boy's got her first oc to review from my good friend Richiekat03
I'm not gonna be biased though just because you're my mate.
I will be writing my comments in bold.
Basics and grounding : -Universe: Earth, modern day Pinelake. -Information on universe: Mysterious blood paintings have been appearing all over Pinelake and no one knows who the blood comes from. People have been going missing for years. Rowan has been painting the walls of Pinelake for years without a trace. -Inspired by/inspiration: N/A.
Alright seems interesting, seems like the universe could have a good storyline going for it.
Character information: -Name: Rowan Hutton. -Species: Human. -Age: 17 -Birthday: 1st January 2002. -Appearence:
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-Personality: Trying to be edgy but not succeeding. -Status: Definetly alive. -Hobbies: Dancing to try and fool people of her innocence.
Okay, so I only have a few minor problems with this section.
-I have nothing wrong with coloured hair because that is common in this day and age but the eye colour is where my first issue stands. She is human, so her eye colour being purple doesn't make too much sense, maybe change it to blue? Still a pretty colour but still realistic.
-Seventeen is a very common age in writing and as long as you don't go too overboard with how strong she is and make her seem like a realistic teenager in the situations she'll face then it should be fine.
-Her personality seems realistic, but can be expanded upon, more people have more than one personality trait.
-Same goes for hobbies, most people enjoy more than one activity, but I do like how her hobby is dancing, I don't see that all too often. Although I don't quite understand why that would make her seem more innocent, maybe have her seem more innocent by making her seem shy or pretending she's naive. That gives the reader the impression that she is trying to come across as innocent since most people don't connect dancing with innocent people.
Overall, it seems like a decent start to a character design and I actually really like her name.
Relationships : -Parents: Killed when Rowan was 14. -Siblings: Jenni Hutton (other oc). -Other family members of importance: N/A -Friends: Lexki Harper (other oc). -Relationship status: Single. -crush/love interest: Crush- best friend (Lexki Harper). -Enemies: Anyone who gets in her way.
-Careful with the whole dead parents thing, it's very common and you have to show the effects of this at some point or it'll seem like it was thriwn in just for sympathy.
-a little more information on the parents wouldn't hurt.
This seems like a very realistic situation for the most part and there's not really much wrong with it, just make sure that everything lines up really.
Background -Summery of backstory: Accidently killed her cat when she was ten and kinda got a liking to kill things. (Creepy I know).
This is short for a backstory. How did she kill the cat? What events took place after she killed the cat? Her parents are dead, what happened to them? Be careful not to make your typical sociopathic oc, be creative in her methods of killing, show what events led to her being this way.
The stats seem fine to me to the most part, but judging from what I've read she doesn't seem that trustworthy. Sometimes people forget how these stats work, 3 is average. Giving your character a lot of good stats can come across as Mary-Sueish because they seem overpowered. I recommend only having one 5 at most when it comes to stats and one that's considerably lower than the others since no one is good in every aspect, there's always something someone lacks in.
Final thoughts This character is off to a good start, certain aspects like her name and relationships with those around her are great! But of course, as with everything, there is room for improvement. The backstory needs to be worked on slightly in order to get a better feel for what Rowan has been through in my opinion. This could be a very interesting, well fleshed out character if just a little more thought is put into it.
*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you of course do not have to listen to what I've said. This us all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*
