REQUESTS ARE CLOSED
Designed a new character but want to know others thoughts on it? Want to get some tips on how to make a good character or to be pointed in the right direction? Well, you're in the right place! I'm here to check your guys' OCS an...
Ooooooooh here we have my first Bungou Stray Dogs OC by ShortPie621! This is a series I love.
My comments will be in bold
Basic and grounding/character information
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She sounds interesting, but for some reason, the "easy-going higher up" is very common for characters in this series. I imagine that it will take a lot to become high up in the mafia, even harder for being well respected. I'm not saying you have to change this, just that you have to be careful about how you go about this and make it detailed enough to make sense.
Relationships
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Forgive me, but how does she have faith in Dazai even though they're enemies? Bear in mind, Dazai betrayed the mafia to join the detective agency, which is where we see he end up at the very start of the series. If there was more reasoning behind this, maybe it could work. I understand the appeal of shipping your oc with Dazai, he is probably the most popular character in the series. But, never bend the reality of the situation for your character to have a love interest. There will have to be solid reasoning behind this for it to work because since it's the mafia, you can't use feelings as an excuse because they are known for being ruthless.
Backstory
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Having so much tragic stuff happen to a character at such a young age is plausible if not overdone, but why would the mafia want her to join them? Her ability isn't anything like Akutagawa's or Dazai's, so what use would they have for her? Being partnered up when she was that seems unreasonable, so maybe age her up? I could be wrong about that since it's been a fair while since I've seen this show.
Other
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The ability sounds interesting, just make sure this is explained if you ever use her in a piece.
Stats
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Since one of her stats is a 5, try and have one of the stats be a 1 in order to balance her out more.
Final thoughts This sounds like it could be a very interesting oc if done well enough. All you need are a few corrections here and there with some more details and this will be a really good oc.
*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*
