OC reviews And Tips (Closed)

Review 95 // Gata Rodriguez

Here is a mha review for monoki06

My comments will be in bold

Basics and grounding

Character information

It's pretty cool seeing a bnha oc that isn't Japanese so that's pretty snazzy. I feel like her personality could work but it needs a bit more detail in order for it function properly and feel like it could be a real character. You definitely need more detail in her appearance description and remember characters can be super unique in this universe.

Be very careful having a character skip a grade because it can make your character seem over intelligent especially when regarding how famously hard it is to get into U.A.

Also add some unique hobbies because I wouldn't class seeing friends as a hobby.

Relationships

Be careful with a parent/guardian being a villain because it's common and pretty overdone, not to mention hard to cover up so only keep this if you're positive you can do this properly.

I'm fine with oc x Canon as long as this works for both of them. Try and write them with chemistry and not force it too much.

I do like the sound of the one sided rivalries though, they're pretty cool and it's like your character is setting herself targets to overcome.

Backstory

I guess this can work? Any other country this would be a problem. Personally, I'm not a fan of cat quirks because they're awfully common and normally done poorly. I don't think people would act like that, they might not like cats but this is a person, not a full-blown feline. I feel like this quirk wouldn't be strong enough to get on the hero course too? Of course Asui got in but I still don't know how she managed that. Maybe she would be better fit in general studies or something because to enterence exam is flawed, as explain by our Lord and savior Aizawa.

You don't have to change that but that's mainly me spouting information. I assume she's in class 1A judging by who she's friends with, which is cool but common and hard to make work, so be careful with that.

Either way, this needs some more detail of her life since people's lives don't completely revolve around their quirks.

Other
This was N/A which sucks because ehtis is meant to describe everything about the quirk. Whilst she might be able to do what a cat does, it doesn't give me any kind of description or reference if her abilities, fighting style or range.

Stats

Definitely lower some of these. They're all super high, I normally recommend one or two fives at most and even then they need to be balanced out with ones. There are a lot of stats here so it's not hard to do in my opinion.

Also you missed her strength.

Final thoughts
I think she could be a good character be a lot needs to be changed and developed for her to work as a good character. She could be good, but you just need to sit down and work on her to make her better then she is currently.

*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*