OC reviews And Tips (Closed)

Review 65 // Sugoriri

Here we have a bnha oc for xXSome_LoserXx

As a side note, guys please out the headings and questions because I don't know my form off by heart and it does make it trickier to review.

My comments will be in bold

Basics and grounding/character information

Okay, so I'm not sure how to go about this because there is so little information I'm not really sure what to go off. Their personality definitely needs developing since nobody is just a one-note person and I recommend coming up with some serious hobbies for the character. As far as saying 'who cares' for one of the necessary parts of a form, I don't really recommend. Since it's regarding the character's gender, you can say questioning or non-binary or gender fluid depending on what you feel the character identifies most with.

I do really like their design though, but I normally recommend unique attributes to the character since quirk mutations are a thing and you can create some really interesting designs.

Relationships

You only need to develop these relationships further and make sure they affect the character. The only issues I have here is that it's incredibly hard for them to be friends with everyone (which I'm assuming is 1A because I don't think it's ever stated) since Bakugou hates everyone and Todoroki is very cold for the most part. The other issue is regarding quirks since that quirks are normally genetic is some form unless they're a mutation, and mutations are incredibly rare, so potentially change the parent's quirks to be something to with shapeshifting and the other to do with snakes? Or whatever you feel works best.

Backstory
There was no backstory or any kind of background wrote. A backstory is what makes up a character to the point of where they're introduced to the audience. They're arguably one of the biggest things that makes up a character. For example, why do you think everyone wants to know Dabi's backstory so much? There's a potential he's a Todoroki. Stuff like that is important. I 100% recommend developing a backstory and fleshing this out a lot more.

Other

This is a good amount of detail and explains what it's for, so good job there. I highly recommend coming up with a quirk description, because if it weren't for the images you provided I wouldn't have any idea what their quirk is apart from it has something to do with a snake.
To be honest, I still don't have much of an idea of what their quirk is.

Stats

Since there are at least three fives here, I recommend lowering some of these and balancing out the fives with ones. Having balanced stats is always good for a character and supplies the building blocks for the character moving forward.

Extra

Genuinely confused as to how their quirk works and how their relationships with Tomo works because I'm very lost.

Final thoughts
Whilst this could be an interesting character, I think a lot more detail and development is needed for them to be a really good character, so just keep working on them.

*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*