Review 43 // Royce Leyira

111 11 0
                                    

Another oc by Sepulchre13

My comments will be in bold

Basics and grounding

I've done a review of this universe before so I don't have anything to add here

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

I've done a review of this universe before so I don't have anything to add here.

Character information

Character information

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

This character sounds pretty interesting so far and I really like how she's picked a date for her birthday since she's so old

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

This character sounds pretty interesting so far and I really like how she's picked a date for her birthday since she's so old. Her design is about what is expected for a demon. As far as her personality goes, you could afford to give her more positive traits to balance her out her negative attributes, but since she's a demon I suppose it works. Also, it's incredibly rare you see hermaphrodite ocs, so good job there.
Relationships

Just make sure these things are well represented if you ever write this story

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

Just make sure these things are well represented if you ever write this story.

Backstory

An interesting backstory, personally I think adding more detail could help express things a lot better

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

An interesting backstory, personally I think adding more detail could help express things a lot better. When introducing new concepts, try not to throw everything at the reader at once. I know this is just a summary but my point still stands as future advice.

Other

Other

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

Again, I get that being op is common in this world, but just be careful making characters this op since you can get a lot of backlash if all of your characters are like this

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

Again, I get that being op is common in this world, but just be careful making characters this op since you can get a lot of backlash if all of your characters are like this.

Stats

These stats are fine, I normally recommend only having one 5, but these fit very well from what I've seen and she still seems pretty balanced, so this is fine

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

These stats are fine, I normally recommend only having one 5, but these fit very well from what I've seen and she still seems pretty balanced, so this is fine.

Final thoughts
Sorry, this is so short, I have a lot going on this week but I'm still determined to keep this up. I really like the universe and the characters I've seen so far, but a couple of additions here and there could greatly improve things. But anyway, good job.

*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*

OC reviews And Tips (Closed) Where stories live. Discover now