REQUESTS ARE CLOSED
Designed a new character but want to know others thoughts on it? Want to get some tips on how to make a good character or to be pointed in the right direction? Well, you're in the right place! I'm here to check your guys' OCS an...
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Cool cool no comments here.
Character information
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This could work I suppose, but you definitely need to work on this more. I'm not sure if it's a typo or I'm missing something from HP but I'm pretty sure lifeblood isn't a thing? It's been a while since I've been in the fan base but I'm assuming that you either meant halfblood or pureblood.
As far as his appearence goes, I think a description would also be useful. Like what body type is he? How tall? I assume he's dyed his hair pink but last time I checked there's only one character in the series that has bright hair and that's Tonks, so be careful with that.
You definitely need to develop his personality more. People are more then three words and I normally recommend at least a paragraph describing their personality because that fleshed them out more.
Also some more hobbies would be nice.
Relationships
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I'm fine with oc x Canon but I'm a bit shakey depending on the character. Harry is a popular pick and is shipped with a lot of characters.
Also Draco isnt a nice guy, I can't imagine him being friendly with someone especially when they're friends with Harry. Luna is more believable though.
Also be careful with a parent dying cause that's very common.
Backstory
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Okay you need a hell of a lot more detail here. You need to flesh out their entire Backstory, what their life was like before hogwarts and his home life.
A character should never reveloved around their love interest so you should make things more about him and not Harry.
You need to show his reaction to his mother's death. You can't just kill off someone and it have zero effect on them, especially if they're interacting with characters during the time it takes place.
You 100% need to completely flesh this out.
Other
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Draco is a pretty strong guy so be careful with this. Also, what type of wand is it? And what's his patronus? Stats
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Most of these are pretty high and I always recommend balancing a 5 with a 1. Look over this and make sure the character is balanced and this matches his personality once he has a properly fleshed out personality.
Final thoughts This character needs a lot of work, he needs to be developed further and worked on a lot for him to be a fitting and well rotten character. Not everything can be written in bullet points especially when regarding a developed character. He has potential, don't get me wrong, but he needs a lot of work to get somewhere.
*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*
