Our pink moon (Remadora, Remus/Tonks)

Never Again

Tonks sat in the living room of Grimmauld place, holding four roses. And she looked at the floor with a smooth look. She had just been rescued from a hospital, and had escaped the hugs of her mother. And now she felt completely dead inside.

,,Nym, can we talk?" Sirius asked as he sat beside Tonks.

She shook her head, she hadn't spoken a word since the awakening, and it had been almost two days.

,,Oeh..." Sighed Sirius, he sat a little closer to Tonks and grabbed one of her scarred hands,, Nym, What you did was cruel to yourself and you must never do it again." He paused to observe Tonks' completely cold and non-existent reaction to his words, "You scared us so much. Your parents, me, Moody, Molly, kids, Harry, Remus, we were all just in panic!"

,,Do you think I'm proud of what I did?" Tonks shouting suddenly, she turned her head to Sirius,, Well, I'm not. I don't know why I did it, I really don't know. And I'm terribly ashamed and regret that I made you worry. I ... I just wanted to forget all of this ... and this physical pain made all the problems so much smaller at that point. I'm sorry."

,,It's okay, Nym. But never do that again. Okay?"

She nodded and leaned her head against Sirius' shoulder, "I promise."

,,Good girl."

---

Blood! It was so warm and cozy against her cold skin. And the ice-cold blade of the knife caused comfortable shakes throughout the body. It was a painful comfort. The pain took away all her thoughts, troubles disappeared from her body as blood flowed from her wounds. The strong consistency of the medicines made the head and thoughts blurred, and made her see the world in white.

She watched in amusement as her blood slowly dripped into the water. And the water turned red.

She drew a line on her left hand with a knife. It hurt ... She felt pain ... but it was a great feeling. The pain was wonderful.

She had no plans to kill herself at first, but she didn't care whether she would survive or not. Hell can't be worse then this world here.

She did the last two lines on her hand and then the world began to revolve around her, and soon she could see nothing but white space and a dark red blood spot in the middle.

Her last thought in her head was... Wolfy

---

Remus was lying on cold soil in the middle of the forest. He had returned today to the pack, and now he was lying down because he didn't want to do anything else. He was a few miles away from the pack, completely isolated.

He thought of his Dora. Although he had denied these dreams. He couldn't do it any other way. The thought of his Dora hurting herself, trying to kill herself, hurt him more than any knife cut.

Why did Dora do this?

Remus did not blame Dora, though everyone else did. He understood the suffering of the poor woman. He wanted so much to be with her now, to hug her and keep her safe. Whisper to her that it's okay and that he's here with her forever. But all this would have been wrong.

Remus glanced at his scarred hands. Each scar told a story about a different battle or a full moon. Except for five thin scars on his left hand...

---

He Lost everything. By one evening he had lost all his friends. He was alone.

He was sitting in the ruins of his parents' cottage. Death Eaters had destroyed this house. All that was left was a small basement and a little less livable space. All the rest was destroyed. He was sitting in a room that used to be a living room, but now had four cracked walls, a broken window, a half-collapsed roof, some furniture and an old burnt couch. That was all he had. The only home he had.

Behind all this was his lack of work and the illness he carried with him like a curse. When Death Eaters destroyed this house and killed his parents. He didn't have enough money to organize a funeral for his parents. He buried them here in the courtyard, and the only guests at their funeral were him, Sirius, and Jemes.

Sirius...Jemes...Lily...Peter...

As he thought about them his eyes filled with tears. The only friends he had ... and they're all gone. He couldn't believe how Sirius could do it all. How he can betrayd Lily and James and kill Peter. Azkaban is too good place for Sirius, he thought angry.

A sharp piece of glass was firmly pressed into his hand. He looked it. Curiosity possessed the pain in him ... what would happen if he ...

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Sorry this chapter is so short. It is difficult to write about such a thing. Hope you enjoyed it and look forward to your feedback.