Sapphire's Review Store 3.0

Review by Faye: Dear No One

Title: Dear No One

Author: iwantfruitgummy

Reviewer: Fayesther

A poetry book review! I like doing these!

Title + Cover: 1/5

I was not thrilled with the title. I believe it dilutes the emotion that you have expressed in your poetry. I think the title should be more hard hitting.

I have seen two covers whilst reading through the collection and neither excited me. The cover should reflect the themes within your poetry. I would suggest a picture of something soft and delicate that is tainted in some way, for example a trampled rose.

Description: 4/5

The description fits your collection well. A nice little snippet of what's to come!

My only suggestion would be to put a little sentence introducing your collection to the reader- encouraging them to dive in.

Grammar: 3.5/5

I couldn't find fault in most of your poetry collection. However, there was a few errors here and there that I would like to mention:

A couple of poems were missing a capital letter at the start. It is important to remember to treat the lines in your poems as sentences, therefore the basics apply- a capital letter at the start and closing punctuation at the end. There were a couple of poems that lacked closing punctuation also.

Be careful when you edit, I found a line that I believe you went back to edit but failed to change it properly.

In poem number 15- "Hopefully by then end"

Possible edits:

"Hopefully by then" or "Hopefully by the end"

I also noticed a few places where you put unnecessary brackets around lines at the end of the poem. (I had a little conversation with you about it in your comments and know that these lines were additional thoughts). However, these thoughts are beautifully written and fit the poems well, so I think it'll look better if you got rid of the brackets.

The wording of your poems is fabulous! You have a really rich vocabulary throughout the collection. Excellent!

Writing Style: 3/5

Most of your poems are laid out wonderfully and I could easily follow the rhythm. However, I think number 3's structure needs work. The words are beautifully chosen but where they are placed on the page fails to show a pattern that's easy to follow making the rhythm a bit chaotic.

I found where you changed the alignment in some poems a bit jarring to read, with number 19 being the exception to this- there was an obvious pattern that worked well for the themes communicated.

There is a beautiful use of rhyme in some poems- number 21 is an example of this! Wonderful!

You have managed to communicate such complex ideas through beautifully written imagery.

Be careful not to change up the concept of your poem in the last few lines. It makes it look like a clumsy after thought. If a poem is about comparing our lives to the stars, keep that image and build on it. Changing it then to leaves in the last lines seemed a bit out of the blue (Poem 14).

I must point out that any issues I brought up in this section were just small nit-picks about individual poems I found here and there. The majority of your poems were really well done and I am envious of your talent in communicating such complex emotion!

Originality: 5/5

These poems embody an originality that is do impressive. I could not predict where each poem was going to go and where they took me was a place I was thrilled to experience! Full marks!

OVERALL SCORE: 17/25

I absolutely loved your incredible use of imagery! You communicated a lovely balance of danger and beauty.

My favourite poems were number 4 and 53!

- Number 4 was full of colour and vibrancy and gorgeously laid out on the page!

- I related to every single line in number 53!

I am super jealous of your talent! You are an incredible poet!

Thank you for asking me to review your work! It was a joy to read!