Sapphire's Review Store 3.0

Review by Faye: Five More Minutes

Title: Five More Minutes

Author: shhravanii

Reviewer: Fayesther

Title + Cover: 3/5

The title is interesting. However, from what I've read so far I don't truly know how it fits your story. That being said I am aware that you are at the early stages of your story, so it is very possible that this can become clearer within later chapters of your book.

I am not a huge fan of the cover. The two people in the picture are not a good representation of your two main characters in my opinion. I think it would be nice if the picture had more of a road trip sort of theme to fit your the main idea if your story. I do like your choice of font and how it is laid out though. I can read the words clearly and the colour pallet used is pleasing to the eye.

Blurb: 3/5

I found the start of your blurb unnecessary, the purpose of the blurb is to entice potential readers. Putting down who you aimed this story for, I find, could possibly alienate individuals and make people pass over your book without giving it a fair chance.

The amount information included in the introduction to your story was good. I especially like the last paragraph.

Writing from both of their perspectives here does seem a bit too busy though. I would choose just one of the characters – Aahana seems to be the best choice. Writing the blurb from her point of view will tidy it up a bit I think. It'll also be nice to let the reader find out about Everett gradually within your story.

The grammar in the blurb was on point from what I could see.

I hope you found this section helpful (seeing as you wanted special focus in this area).

Writing Style: 5/5

You have a writing style that I got on board with very quickly. You make telling your story and making it interesting effortless.

You use a good balance of showing and telling. Descriptions you included fit beautifully amongst the action of the story. There is no point where the linear storyline had to halt to make way for descriptions of characters and setting. You make the story flow seamlessly.

There is also a subtle edge to how you describe the scenes between your two main characters. You tell it in a way that I felt like a third party being let into their lives and I could quite vividly picture it all, it was like I was watching a movie in my mind. Really well done.

You are incredible at writing gripping endings to your chapters, I couldn't wait to scroll to read more!

My favourite scene in your story was the waterfall scene. It was described beautifully and I wanted to be there paddling in the water alongside them!

Grammar: 3/5

There are various places where you have made grammar blunders, but you these are not recurring offenses so I am assuming that these are just typing errors. A close edit would iron those out. I pin-pointed a few as I read, I hope this was helpful.

The grammar of the majority of your work is really well done.

Characterisation: 5/5

My first impression of Aahana was that she was wild and not at all afraid to speak her mind, she also had a empathetic side, which made her so likeable. As your story progressed a more bubbly, innocent character came out. She had a child-like quality to her that I absolutely adored. The kind of zany, pixie-girl type character that Aahana was in many cases can come across as needlessly annoying, but I didn't find her annoying at all! I liked her all the way through! Warts and all!

My first impression of Everett was that he's a real artistic type, who does not take rubbish from anyone! He is strong and willing to go on an adventure. Measuring him up against Aahana made me strap in for an interesting ride! As your story progressed, it came apparent that Everett was the perfect contrast to Aahana's innocent persona. He brought an adult quality, which complimented her childlike quality beautifully.

Their chemistry was wonderfully expressed. You didn't rush anything, yet you didn't make it excruciatingly slow either. This is a tough balance to find within writing, but you've managed to pull it off well.

Plot: 5/5

This is a fun and very humorous story with a fantastic pace! Full of relatable real life observations and witty banter.

You started off your story with a strong start – introducing your two main characters in a fun and unique way. You showcase both of their personalities wonderfully!

You bring a good bunch of ideas together, full of gorgeous, sunny moments that I found so soothing to read. I really like the central idea of throwing two strangers together in an impromptu road trip. Aahana at the start comes across as quite reckless. Yet what an interesting way to explore such reckless behaviour through getting her to take a chance. A chance that only a crazy, bubbly character in a teen romance novel can get away with.

I'm aware that you are only at the start of this story and there is so much more left for you to explore. I would love to see how these two face troubles together on the road. There are so many directions you can take this story!

So basically, what I mean to say in this section really is that your story has me hooked.

OVERALL: 24/30

A fun story, full of great banter. I found scenes within this book heart warming and I fell in love with both of your fantastic characters. You have a few typing errors here and there, but a thorough edit would iron those out no bother. The majority if your writing was on point! I adore your writing style, it has a wonderful ease to it! I perfect story to read if you want to unwind after a tough day.

Thank you for asking me to review your lovely story, I hope you found my feedback helpful.