Sapphire's Review Store 3.0

Review by Addie: Murder in Room 205

Title: Murder in Room 205

Author: ThatgoofyNerd

Reviewer: Addison-AJ

Title + Cover: 4.2/5

Your title was perfect. I loved how it matched with where the murder took place, and you were able to put everything in only a few words. It worked so well with the main idea of your story, which is amazing. The length of it was also great, and it wasn't long for what your book is about. Fantastic job with your title choice!

The cover seemed quite simple, but it still fits the concept. The font is easy to read, and you've put everything that the reader needs. There's the title, author's name, and a few words at the bottom which make it more intriguing. The only thing is that I would suggest working on the size of the words a little. Not for the title, though. That was already perfect. But for the author's name and phrase at the bottom of the cover.

I think the author's name can be smaller, so there's more room for the other words. It was fairly difficult to read it with the color and size. This applies mostly to the words 'in twenty-two.' I encourage you to change the color to something slightly lighter. That way, the reader can see it all clearly. But otherwise, I thought your title and cover were great!

Summary: 4/5

You've written a very interesting summary. You go right into the plot of her guardian angel and what it's like with Rico Monte not believing her. At parts, there were a few things that could have been improved a little. The writing created questions, but it's amazing to be more direct with them. Even with what you already have, I encourage you to just phrase it differently so it's more like a question. Here's an example:

Before Editing: A death threat from an unknown person, and a letter bomb could just be enough to convince Rico that his neighbor might not be so crazy after all.

After Editing: Could a death threat from an unknown person, and a letter bomb be enough to convince Rico that his neighbor might not be so crazy after all?

Another point I wanted to mention was for the pace in the last two paragraphs. Here, you went from Rico not caring about what Lori said. Then, you talked about what could convince Rico that she was actually right about what she said. It might be a good idea to slow down the pace so that it's balanced out. You can explain more about how Rico doesn't believe her at all. Talk more about why he didn't mind what she said.

This would be better for the summary because the writing shouldn't sound rushed or forced at all. I suppose you can also do this for the first paragraph. Instead of giving the main idea in only one sentence, perhaps you can change it to multiple. If you'd like, it could help even out the pace with more detail about how she's framed. Why does she get arrested for murder and what does she think of that?

Also, one minor thing that could have been changed was introducing Rico Monte more gradually. It would be much more clear if you talked about him and his personality more. It doesn't have to be very detailed, but only a few more ideas from the characters themselves. Even something that emphasizes how much Rico doesn't care. Whenever she tries to talk, does he leave with any second thoughts? Why doesn't he care at all, though? Does he even try and talk to her about it?

More detail can pull the reader in, as it gives them more information about the plot. But other than that, the description is phenomenal. Just keep in mind that some more questions can get the reader thinking about the story. Regardless of that though, amazing work here!