Sapphire's Review Store 3.0

Review by Lina: Vishta

Title: Vishta

Author: praisyevermore

Reviewer: linalagosya

Summary: 4/5

The summary has a lot of good information in it. It gives a hint into what kind of person Vishta is while showing some of the potential conflicts she might get into. And not just her, but her kingdom as well. The summary is a bit too long. The information gets a bit confusing when trying to compare the top half and the bottom half of the blurb. Is the seemingly dangerous king the same prince turned king from the top half? Combining the two parts into one blurb and being clearer with the pronouns and names would bring this summary to the next level.

Grammar: 3.5/5

There were lots of sections where the grammar was good and any mistakes were barely noticeable, but there were quite a few sections where the errors were more frequent and it was more of a challenge to read. The story is still interesting enough to keep the reader engaged despite the errors and the grammatical errors aren't so bad that the reader won't comprehend what's happening. That said, here are some things to watch out for:

Misuse of tenses (particularly with anything using "have" or "had")

Ex. - "My two married sisters, however, were the type that whimper and whine if they had not been given enough attention" should be "My two married sisters, however, were the type that whimpered and whined if they were not given enough attention"

Misuse of propositions (using "in" instead of "on", that sort of thing)

Ex. - "...backed up at the head of my bed" should be "...backed into the head of my bed"

Missing words or misused words (such as "conspicuous" or "unscathed), and comparing objects that don't match:

Ex. - "A gasp, a cheer and a clap mixed with unconvinced people generated noise all over."

In this case, gasp/cheer/clap are noises, but "unconvinced people" is not a noise. So something like this would be more appropriate: "A gasp, a cheer, and a clap, mixed with the whispers of unconvinced people, generated noise all over."

Ex. - "trying to be half-hearted" should maybe be "trying to be lighthearted"

Ex. - "How did you know the exact words King Suza had commanded me to do?" should be "How did you know the exact words King Suza commanded me to say?"

Character Building: 4/5

The characters were really engaging. Vishta's strong will and unshakeable resolve make her someone to root for. She seems different from the other royalty. She also has a nice bit of sass and humor to add some lightness to the story. The way she takes in the servants on the ship as well shows that she can be caring and think of someone other than herself. Geviv seems like she's just a stuck-up princess, but actually she's incredibly wise, intelligent, and seems to be a master of information. She ends up being a lot more than what she seems, and that reveal was really nicely done. The scene with the sisters together at the lake was one of my favorites, because it showed their relationship so well, as well as their strengths and characteristics and how they differ. I also just want to mention Kikuhara, what a fun character! He does not put up with Vishta's nonsense, and I love his attitude. Readers will really enjoy him!