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Review by Addie: The Lost Knight

Title: The Lost Knight

Author: CandyAtkins

Reviewer: Addison-AJ

Summary: 3/5

 Your summary includes information about Agatha and her personality to start it off. You talk about the Grim Reaper, use questions to intrigue the reader, and also finish it off with the stakes of what will happen. The only thing is that your summary seemed more like the most important bits and pieces from the story. That's good, but I would suggest giving the reader more about that. I'll be going through each part of your summary, sentence by sentence. Let's take a look!

So in the second sentence, you talk about how Agatha Stone is 'all that's left.' Perfect! Just add to that. It would have a much more powerful impact if the reader had a very clear idea of why she's the last one. You start it off perfectly, though. It's a great hook in the first sentence, so well done there! I would encourage you to talk more about the stakes in this part. Or even add in the information of Ashra from the ending that you already wrote: 'Earth will burn just like Ashra.' Everyone's depending on Agatha, so make that as clear as possible to the reader with some extra detail.

For the second paragraph, you once again had a very strong beginning sentence. I would recommend adding more about why 'she's all they have.' What would happen if she does fail? Will she bring all of Ashra down? I think this is a great paragraph to create more questions for the reader. Your story, connecting to the plot, is very interesting. You can pull the reader in with only a few sentences because of this. At the end of this paragraph, you did a marvelous job, however!

The third paragraph was also well-planned and definitely matched with your story. The only thing that I would suggest is maybe after the 'this is to work' part. Your summary overall has been very steady. But I think just a little more detail would do wonders for this story. When I read it the first time, I didn't sound as clear as it could have been. I couldn't quite understand as much about the conflict. You did mention Agatha stopping a war and preventing the invasion to Earth, but there's always room for more.

After I finished reading the book and came back to your description, I could definitely see where it was going. That's great because it connects back to the story pretty well. But whenever you write summaries, in my opinion, it's a good idea to imagine that you're the reader taking a look at it for the first time. What parts are not as detailed and clear? It doesn't have to be a complete re-tell, but it should be an overall idea with the smaller branches included.

In the beginning, you talk about Agatha's Auntie and the Orb. I think those are important and it would be great if they were included in the summary. Of course, it is completely up to you. But I would like to mention that it is important for the reader to know how the war will start and everything else. Other than that, a little more polishing and editing would be amazing. Details and descriptions as well. On the other hand, keep in mind that it's still great how you were able to take the main ideas from the story and change it into a summary. 

Character Building: 4/5

Your characters have been very interesting so far. Agatha's perfect as the main character, in my opinion. Her personality and the dialogue that you include go very well together. Especially when she's afraid or frightened (more commonly at the beginning of the book), the emotions are written beautifully. Her thoughts flow with the concept of the story, and so you've done a great job with that. I'd also like to talk about the dialogue, so let's take a look.