Sapphire's Review Store 3.0

Review by Joanna: He

Title: He

Author: Tinydreamer01

Reviewer: joanna388

Title + Cover: 5/10

To be honest, I think you can find a better picture to use as a cover. The Photoshop used to swap the faces made it a little awkward to look at, which means I'd probably skip the story while browsing through books to read. There are a lot of ways you can use both their faces for it, one being using two separate photos and doing a collage. You'll have to make sure the colors and saturation matches though, so be thorough. The cover is the first thing that draws a reader in, so it's important that you make it as good as you can! I like that your title is big and visible in the middle, right over your name.

The blurb has real potential! You've written about your characters and what they're like, the general plot, and have in general cleared that this is a romance book. Information wise, your blurb is really good, but you'll have to work on editing your grammar and punctuation. I'd structure and change your first paragraph a bit as well if I were you. While you get the main point across, the paragraph lacks cohesion and fluidity between each sentence.

Intro: 2/5

I like how you decided to start off with a paragraph that makes you question the subject in your head. It brings a philosophical touch to it that I, as a reader, greatly appreciate. But you'll have to edit it grammar and punctuation wise both. When one of two is not used correctly, it really messes with the flow of the story, which makes your reader get tired while reading.

You also started off normally, and then added the 'Lydia's POV', and after that the 'IN LOS ANGELES'. I'd recommend:

a) To put the POV at the very top, before the story starts.

b) To add the location in your paragraph, while she explains where she's from and all that. But be careful not to info dump everything at the start! It might seem like an easy way to introduce your character to your readers, but it just makes it a very long, boring paragraph.

Plot + Originality: 5/10

There are a lot of romance books out there, which means that sometimes, a certain plot is being used over and over by a few. Even after taking into consideration that every writer writes his/her story differently, it can look the same; so it sometimes feels like reading the same book with different character names.

It's not the most original plot I've ever seen, (sorry!), but I like the way you approach the subject. She lands a role on Netflix, which is awesome by the way, and happens to be in the same series as her idol. It's a pretty basic plotline, but still effective. I do think that your pace is a little too fast though.

Grammar + Punctuation: 3/20

Here's the tough part. You're going to have to work and study both of them thoroughly, including sentence structure at certain parts.

To start with, there seems to be a lack in definite and indefinite articles. (a, an, the)

Articles are used before nouns or noun equivalents and are a type of adjective. You can Google them, they will really help you with your writing now and for the future!

Relative pronouns and adverbs also seem to be a problem when reading through your work. (who, whom, whose, that, which)

Where is a relative adverb.