Sapphire's Review Store 3.0

Review by Faye: Vivid

Title: Vivid

Author: AngelDirectioner15

Reviewer: Fayesther

Title + Cover: 3/5

I like the title it fits your poetry collection nicely, without being too on the nose.

However, I'm not a fan of the cover. I don't think the picture illustrates your poetry well. It also gets lost behind the title of the book. The font chosen for the title is nice though.

Description: 5/5

Beautiful! I love poetry books that have a short poem for their description; you are giving the reader a glimpse of what's to come and that's exactly what you should be doing in your description!

"Adorning them with pearls from the Garden of Eden." – this line is incredible!

Grammar: 4/5

I did not find many problems concerning grammar, the majority of your work was spot on!

I noticed two lines that didn't flow as well as others:

1. "For it is gets thrusted deep withing,"

Here it seems you started to write this line one way then changed your mind.

Also, "Thrusted" is not a word. "Thrust" is one of those words that are an exception of the rule of adding "ed" for it to be a verb in the past tense.

Additionally, I'm assuming that "withing" is just an overlooked typing error.

Edit 1: "For it gets thrust deep within,"

Edit 2: "For it is thrust deep within,"

2. "He only longs to live to her,"

The meaning of this line is unclear.

Edit: "He only longs to live for her,"

That really was the only grammar issues that I had found. Not many what so ever!

Writing Style: 5/5

What a beautiful writing style you have! You brought an ancient sounding voice to your work, there were moments where I got a Shakespeare or Song of Songs vibe. I love that! Classic and beautiful!

Your use of imagery is wonderful. You managed to paint vivid (see what I did there?) images in my mind!

It is so impressive how you have explored huge moral concepts in such small amounts of words! It is a true talent.

My only nit pick (and it is a nit pick!) is that I don't like how some poems are written in italics and some are not. I think it'll be good if you chose one way to have the words of your poems and have your author's notes written in the other. This would polish off your collection nicely.

That being said, how you laid out the lines in each poem worked very well. Usually I'm not a fan of changing the alignment in the middle of a poem, however, where you have done this works perfectly for those individual poems.

Originality: 5/5

A collection with a strong start! Your first poem packs a punch - you certainly were not messing around!

Each poem flows beautifully into the next and they all follow the same, yet broad, theme.

I love the poem "Loving His Demons" it is short but it is mighty! Every line is a gem and it introduces the theme of "The Seven Deadly Sins" beautifully.

I think it would be effective if you made this poem the one directly before the deadly sins poems; by moving "The Sins of the Past" to directly after them, I believe if you did that your collection would flow even better than it does already.

I thought the poems about the seven deadly sins were brilliant! Personifying each sin and getting them to share some truth about their different personalities was really clever. I also love the riddle-me-this aspect you brought to them; what an unique and effective way to draw your reader in! You certainly had me hooked!

All of your poems fit beautifully in your collection and each is written so well that each time I reached the end of one I was eager to read the next!

OVERALL SCORE: 22/25

This is a beautiful collection of ancient sounding poems, exploring emotion and morality. Your writing style is clever and researched well and the heart within your work is evident in the imagery you have included. An all around impressive collection, with only the tiniest corrections needed to make it perfect!

"Estella" is my favourite so far! I can't wait to read more! My favourite could change!

I have to confess, I was so eager to read more I tried to scroll many times when I reached the end of your book! I was gutted there wasn't more to see!

Thank you for asking me to review your genius poetry collection! I hope my feedback is helpful.