Sapphire's Review Store 3.0

Review by Faye: Skylight

Title: Skylight

Author: StrikingSorrows

Reviewer: Fayesther

Title + Cover: 4/5

I'm going to be honest. I'm not overly enthusiastic about the title. It doesn't reflect the content very well in my opinion. It would be nice if you connected the title to the main characters somehow- go down the "Lightning Storm" angle or something to do with the moon.

I do like the cover though. The picture is simple and pleasing to the eye. The colours are calming and the font is clear- no information gets lost in the background. The subtitle fits nicely.

Description: 2/5

Your description is a bit disorganised and doesn't really introduce your story affectively.

The quote seems to be lifted from the middle of a sentence, therefore, it doesn't have a clear context.

The middle paragraph is fine, you give enough information without spoiling the story.

I think it'll be nice if you started off your description with "It started with the moon" its a eye catching phrase and will draw potential readers in.

The author's note at the end doesn't need to be there in my opinion. You include this information in the first chapter of the book and that does the job just fine.

Grammar: 2/5

The majority of your writing is easy to follow and your vocabulary is varied and enjoyable to read.

You have punctuated your speech very well! Well done!

There are a few instances in your book where you add a few unnecessary words within sentences. This can spoil your writing's flow making it read a bit chunky here and there. For example; in paragraph one you added an unnecessary "and then" which spoils the flow of a very beautiful description of the surroundings.

There's a number of very large paragraphs. I would suggest separating them into smaller sections this will help the reader stay on track with your action packed story!

"They sat next to each other look at the sunrise." (Chapter 2) This sentence reads a bit clumsy. It comes across as if there is something missing. If you wrote it like this; "They sat next to each other and watched the sunrise." I believe it would sound better.

I found typos, tense swaps and word order blunders through out the book, I commented on some as I read. When editing take care- when words are on the smaller side they can so easily be overlooked.

I would certainly suggest to you my number one favourite tool in writing, which is, reading your work aloud. Reading aloud, I find, really helps you to pinpoint mistakes.

Writing Style: 5/5

Your story's pace is incredibly fast in part one, however it does even itself out by part two!

Your story has some descriptive gems all the way through! You set the mood beautifully in your descriptions of the character's surroundings. I especially liked how you described smells as well as how things looked. For a story about wolves adding this information is a good tool to direct your reader's imagination to where it needs to go. Saying that a scent was so strong that it almost drowned them was an awesome use of imagery!