Sapphire's Review Store 3.0

Review by Faye: The Summer Side

Title: The Summer Side

Author: LeafStorm924

Reviewer: Fayesther

Blurb: 5/5

I love your blurb. It is straight to the point. It is short and gives the reader just enough information to know what exactly they are about to read. It is also intriguing and hooked me in.

Writing Style: 4/5

Your writing style is incredibly enjoyable to read. You made your story have a classic fairy-tale aesthetic, whilst bringing more modern aspects at the same time. A very clever structured story, its narrative flowed consistently throughout. You have a good balance of showing verses telling that works wonderfully for a short story.

Your descriptive writing is fantastic! You managed to paint the settings of the story so vividly with your words. You brought the loneliness of the grungy, colourless human world that the main character experienced and contrasted this wonderfully through the vibrant, magical world of the fairy kingdom. I got Wizard of Oz vibes when reading that setting transition – dreary black and white turning into glorious technicolour in a blink of an eye.

Not only did you describe the setting well, but the actions and emotions of the characters are portrayed with such poetic ease. I love the dreamy feel to the scenes Stellan has with Henrik. I especially loved the part where they fly together. You focused on the finest details of the scenario, which made it jump off the page.

I do think that this story should be divided up a bit. There were a number of places where you could start a new chapter and in doing so it would help potential readers stay on board. Having moments to rest between crucial parts of the story, gives the reader a chance to contemplate what they having just read and helps them to get ready for what you have to communicate next. I found facing the whole story being in such a long chapter a bit overwhelming. 

Characterisation: 4/5

Within your characterisation, you were brilliant at portraying the emotions both Stellan and Henrik felt, and what their personal situations consisted of. I fully understood their thought processes throughout.

Stellan is lonely and has no ties to the human world. He also has trust issues from being abandoned within his life on Earth.

Henrik is a mysterious character, lonely too but in a much different way to Stellan, he is not poor, with no one to care about him. He is a King. Though even Kings can be lonely and yearn for a companion – I found that aspect of this character's story beautiful.

Stellan and Henrik's chemistry was effectively expressed throughout. Their bond was built up authentically. I had no trouble believing in their relationship.

I love that Henrik names Stellan, I found this such a cool idea. This showed a small amount of character exposition for Stellan and Henrik. Stellan, not wanting to give the fairy stranger his given name at birth; I read into that that Stellan remembers stories, he was told in the past, about spiritual beings that mess about with human lives. This was a very clever detail to add within the story! I also love that you shared what the name Stellan means – showing that Henrik thought hard about the name, and not just gave him any old random name that popped into his head on a whim.

I do think that Stellan as a character could have more details included. Small details to help the reader connect with him a bit more. What are his likes and dislikes? What makes him mad? How does he hold himself physically? Does he hunch and look timid or does he put on a brave façade? Does he have any mannerisms or habits? These small details (although not important in moving on the plot of the story) do help the reading relate more with a character. I found I could picture Henrik better than I could Stellan.

Plot: 5/5

The plot of this story is easy to follow and incredibly engaging.

Starting off with setting up the main character's situation – of surviving (barely) rather than living. Having no ties to Earth at all, he's practically just waiting to die. Then being taken away by a magical person, to a far away place of dreams. Just beautiful!

You expressed enchanting ideas that truly brought the fairy world to life, through sharing various folklore of their land - information about how they connected to the human world in other instances. You also explained the magic they use vividly, as well as the fairies' physical looks and laws within the nature of their realm. It truly felt like a real place as I read.

The way you build Stellan and Henrik's relationship flows so well. It is so impressive how much you managed to communicate within this short story. At no point did I feel their relationship was rushed, it came across as very organic. I fully rooted for them from when Henrik feeds Stellan fairy food till the very end! A beautiful connection.

Each scene, one after the other builds up the plot wonderfully working up to an incredibly moving ending.

OVERALL SCORE: 18/20

A beautifully written short story. No grammatical errors jumped out at me as I read. It had an amazing flow and you managed to show a vast amount of time passing in such a limited word count, and at no point did it feel rushed or chaotic. This story is full of complex emotions and beautiful moments of fully immersive action. I would recommend this story to all fantasy lovers!

If you split up the story into a few chapters, I think you could fit it into around four or five. I think your book would be absolutely perfect.

Thank you so much for asking me to review this magical story! I hope you found my feedback helpful.

And a quick note from ray_of_sunshine9.

We've done it again. Two hundred chapters in this review store. Which means that... We're now moving onto Sapphire's Review Store 4.0! Which is, wow. Wow. I'm just amazed. Thank you so much to all the reviewers who have really helped this community grow so much! So many words make up these review stores, and I just can't believe we've done close to 600 reviews. Wow. 

So if anyone is confused and looking for reviews, look for the next book, Sapphire's Review Store 4.0!