Past Friends

Part 63: Hallucinations

Loki heads back downstairs to make you some tea while trying not to have a break down. He was still mad at himself for covering you in bruises but even more upset because you almost died twice today. You could barely stand, you had no strength and you kept trying to distance yourself from him. It was tearing him up inside and wasn't sure what he could do, or should do for that matter.

While Loki was downstairs Peter, Natasha, Bucky, and Steve came to check on you. Well Natasha popped in first to make sure you were out of the tub and dressed before allowing the others to come in. They all come over to join you by the window asking how you were but you continued to stare off up at the sky. Peter shows you a bag telling you excitedly that they ordered your favourite, wonton soup. You thank them before saying you weren't hungry, and their worry starts to show on their faces. Bucky actually gets mad at this, "you're eating the soup doll" he tells you sternly before mentioning to the others that they shouldn't leave you alone with Loki.

You get upset at this, even though you and Loki weren't on the best terms right now you still couldn't stand anyone talking bad about him. "Be glad Loki came to check on me..." you began still staring at the window but it grabbed all of their attentions. You turn to look at them, and with a completely straight face, void of any emotions say "otherwise you would have found me in the tub". It takes Peter a few seconds to understand but soon his face turns sad like the others, he even starts to cry a little. You thank them again for the soup and tell Peter to just put it down on the nearby dresser before politely asking them to leave, you wanted to be alone. They comply, but before any of them leave they each gave you a hug. Bucky was the last to go and before he left he said "we'll be right downstairs if you need anything doll, and I do mean anything" giving you a soft smile as he turned to leave. You look down at your lap and before Bucky had step too far away you ask him to hand you the soup. He stays for a moment to watch you eat before gently ruffling your hair and heading out the door, where the others were waiting in the hall for him. They chat briefly outside your door, you can't make out exactly what they're saying but they eventually leave.

They ran into Loki who was carrying a tray with tea, medicine, and some bandages a ways down the hall from your room. They greet Loki with the usual head nods but he himself was a bit confused by their gloomy expressions and by Peter's tears. Only Bucky had a straight face but his actions were the weirdest of all, as he gave Loki an 'approval' type shoulder pat. Bucky truly saw you as a little sister and was under the impression that Loki only wanted to get into your pants or add you to his collection as some sort of trophy. But after tonight, after Loki was out the door faster than anyone to go into the woods to find you, and now with the tray of tea and medicine he was bringing up just for you, he realized what Loki felt for you was a lot deeper than just lust. Although Bucky didn't really get along with the God of Mischief too well if at all, the guy seemed to truly care about you and would do anything to keep you safe. That's all Bucky needed to know before relenting and letting whatever was going to happen between the two of you let happen without his interference. Loki just stood there more confused before rushing off to go and see you. However Bucky wasn't the only one who noticed his change in behaviour, from that day forward most of the Avengers saw Loki in a bit of a different light, as it turns out the icy prince did have a heart afterall.

You had enough of your soup and set it aside as you leaned back up against the window, wrapping your blanket tight around you before Loki arrived. You wanted to sleep but were afraid if you did fall asleep whatever was controlling you out in the woods would do so again. You didn't have the mental strength to fight back after everything that happened early, you were only able to stop briefly when the rain stopped. It felt like walking on glass shards as the pain in your feet became worse with each step walking through the woods when you had barely any strength left to do so in the first place. It was terrifying to be trapped like that but not having the willpower to fight back was even worse. However that changed when you ran into Loki; you didn't know what was happening but didn't want him coming near you in case whatever was infecting you could spread to others. You managed to find some strength to fight against it once Loki arrived but it didn't get you far; you did eventually break free but only after passing out. What if next time that didn't work? What if next time you were forced to do more than just walking? What if next time you were trapped forever?

You didn't know what to do, you were worried they would think you were crazy if you said anything. You tried to push your worries deep down inside and distract yourself but it wasn't working. You wished you could disappear for a while, go some place nice and far away from all of this, far away from your problems, somewhere you could be alone, as you started to believe it would be better that way. You didn't want to hurt anyone, you had to leave to keep them safe but how would you sneak away now, with everyone on high alert?

At that moment you saw a vision of the dark haired boy begging you not to go. You had to stay, you just had to, because they loved you, he loved you and he wanted and promised to protect you. He fell to his knees in tears and you kneeled down to hug him, telling him you didn't want to go but had no choice. You were overwhelmed by the feelings of the Visions version of you, her pain felt so real, and you struggled to hold back your tears. You were scared out of your mind and just wanted to scream and cry but you just hid yourself in your blanket, wrapping it tight and pulling your knees close to you while closing your eyes shut hard. You started thinking the words "stop, stop, go away! GO AWAY!!" over and over again when you hear Loki walk through the door.