Past Friends

Part 65: Late Night Comfort

The rest of the night was pretty uneventful, you had your tea and the rest of your soup, letting Loki try a wonton and he liked them. After calming down a bit more you were able to explain quite clearly what happened; you told Loki you snuck out, trying to avoid everyone so you could go on a walk alone. How you literally ran to get away eventually ending up a fair bit away to only lay down in the grass, staring up at the sky but closing your eyes soon after. More time past and you started hearing voices and when you opened your eyes you saw the two boys from your dream in somewhat modern attire. You explain how you weren't really thinking, how instead of being concerned with dream people possibly coming to life, you just saw two boys running off into the woods and you chased after them, trying to stop them from getting lost. However when the rain hit they disappeared and you found that you were completely lost, and started to panic. You weren't sure what happened next but you woke up under a tree and while trying to focus you heard that song and when you started singing it out loud something told hold of you. Whatever it was it made you get up and walk, while continuously singing, how you felt there was no point trying to fight back. Only after running into Loki did you find some strength to resist, not wanting anyone to end up 'under a spell' assuming that's what it could possibly be, you didn't want to take the chance of affecting anyone else.

Loki listened calmly as he held you close under the covers; you were laying on your side pressed right up against him with both your legs were in between his and your head resting on his shoulder. He had his arm wrapped around your torso while holding your hand, the one that was on his chest with his other arm. You could feel Loki tense up as you spoke about it no doubt from worry, and you yourself started to worry as well. You told him that you were okay, you were feeling much better now all thanks to him, as you leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek. You then accidentally let it slip you were just happy he was holding you again, you immediately realized your mistake and try to back peddle, changing the subject.

You ask Loki if he wanted to see your latest sewing project, you finished it earlier today and was hoping to show it off to somebody. You sit up to get off the bed to go and get the dress you made but Loki wrapped his arm around your waist preventing you from moving as he to sat up. He of course asked right away what you were talking about, at first you pretended not to know what he was talking about, before telling him you didn't want to talk about it. You didn't want to worry Loki about it now, even though you didn't really resolve the whole "why did I think this would work" comment from earlier you didn't want to talk about, hoping that maybe you could both pretend it didn't happen.

You knew Loki wasn't going to let up so you close your eyes and take a deep breath before turning around to face him. You crawl back over and sit on top of him, now resting comfortably on his thighs you wrap your arms around him locking your fingers together resting your hands on the back of his neck. You try to make eye contact but your anxiety gets the better of you and you start to squirm while looking downwards. You end up absentmindedly staring down at his collarbone and chest while trying work up the nerve to ask him. You never had to have a serious relationship talk before and didn't have any frame of reference for one. In the end you decide to just be honest about it, seeing as everyone claimed that the key in a healthy relationship was communication.

Loki is patient, waiting calmly for you to answer and meet his eyes again but he was also worried about what you were going to say. You look up at him, your face was sort of gloomy, your eyes all wistful as if they were about to fill with tears. You start to tense up slightly, your heart tightened as you whispered "you said 'why did I think this would work' earlier today and I was worried you didn't want me anymore. I thought you were kind of... breaking up with me". A single tear rolled down your cheek as sadness began to creep over your face, you once again looked away too embarrassed from your insecurities.

Before you knew what was happening Loki frantically pulled you into his arms "no, no, no darling I would never break up with you. I was..." he paused, trying to find the exact words before continuing. Loki cleared his throat "I was simply angry with myself for hurting you and covering you in bruises, I tried to hold back but..." his voice trailed off as Loki realized he said too much. You told Loki that you've been bruised a lot worse while training with Steve, Natasha, and Bucky and the bruises he left were really nothing. You admitted to him you were a little sore all over when you woke up this morning but no more than usual from waking up after training the day before.

You didn't know how strong Loki was exactly but it didn't occurred to you until right now that if he could throw a full grown man across a room with ease he was probably very strong. Last night was amazing, you enjoyed every second of it and you didn't mind all the bruises. In fact you were kind of surprised by how much you liked the idea and feeling of Loki covering you with bruises, marking you as his. But before you could even address what that said about you, "holding back?" you thought as a realization hit you. You felt something suddenly, you weren't sad exactly but that's the only word that came close to explaining how you felt.

"I'm sorry you didn't enjoy yourself..." you said to Loki, still not looking directly at him but if you had you would have seen a very un-Loki like expression as he looked both surprised and confused but a little happy too. He wasn't saying anything and when you look back at him you watched as an amused look stretched across his entire face before letting out a pleasant breathy sound, it was almost like a laugh. "That's what you're worried about? I am literally strong enough to break any regular human, I could break you if I'm not careful and you worry about whether or not I enjoyed myself?" Loki laughed and you couldn't help but turn away feeling a little embarrassed. He places his hands on your upper arms gripping them gently, regaining your attention and you look back up at him. Once he had your attention he let go, placing both hands instead on the sides of your face while leaning forward to place his forehead against yours. Loki whispers "last night was one of the best nights of my life. I want nothing more than to have you here by my side forever".

You smile wide as your cheeks begin to heat up and you start to squirm just a bit, you still weren't used to anyone saying things like that to you. Loki pulls away slightly to look at you and study your face but before long you lean in to give him a kiss.