Dance Through Trauma

September 11, 2021

Before I start for today, I want to take a moment and remember the thousands of lives that were lost 20 years ago today. I was probably barely in my mother's womb without a heartbeat, but my parents remember seeing the news of the attack on the news while they were at work. They thought that another world war was coming. It was a scary day for not just America, but the world. May all the lives lost that day Rest In Peace eternally. It doesn't feel right to change the subject from something so sensitive, but I wanted to write about what has been going on lately in my life. These past few days, Damian has been more disrespectful to his step-father because he was tired of being told what to do by him especially as he has seen the things that his step-father has done to my mother at home for the past few years. I never liked how he treats Damian because he always corrects him, but does not show any love. He just tells Damian with an angry tone to do a chore or something else, but he never shows any love to my brother, which is why he says his step-father isn't his dad. I understand Damian, and I have really felt bad for him because a child should never have to witness so much trauma at such an age. It explains why Damian always tells me that he doesn't like his father, and that he is having suicidal thoughts. He also cries if I don't give him something that he wants like if he wants to use my phone, but I refuse to give it to him, then he will cry and say that no one likes him. I don't want to worry so much about him anymore, so I will just worry for him on a healthy, professional level. I want to feel exactly like a doctor attending a patient without being emotionally attached. It helps me because worrying won't do anything. It's my mother's responsibility to help him out, and she's already trying to get him counseling again because he seriously needs it. So, he will receive professional help. I will still give him advice as a brother whenever I'm feeling okay. Damian has many mental health issues, but I believe he will get through them and be the happiest he can be. For my mother's boyfriend, I want to see him neutrally instead of seeing him as evil because it only sparks anger within me that I do not like. I have to follow the laws of Xander that I created to remain living in content. I will live my life as content as possible. On the other hand, I wanted to write about an earthquake that hit Acapulco, Guerrero a couple of days ago. So, a 7.0 earthquake struck Acapulco with strange lights in the sky that were caused by the earthquake. It's a rare phenomenon, but I never knew earthquakes caused lightning. This meant that the Mexican authorities in that area stopped their search for my cousin and the other four missing fishermen. I'm not sure if they're continuing their search but my cousin remains missing. I do think that I will hear about him soon. As you can see, a lot has been going on lately, but I will always try my best to stick with my content mind rather than the negativity out in the world.

- September 11, 2021