Dance Through Trauma

September 29, 2021

Home is finally peaceful as my mother's now ex-boyfriend moved out. He visits sometimes just to see the kids, but I'm glad he moved out because the arguments between him and my mother will never end, and my mother is a super mom while her ex-boyfriend has a hard time taking care of his own children. I think most women are better at parenting from what I've seen throughout my life. All the three men that my mother dated had trouble with being a father. The only good father out of the three is my own dad. I'm just glad my mom's ex-boyfriend bought the kids some clothes and shoes, and that includes his step-son Damian. However, my mother doesn't like that her ex-boyfriend doesn't want to spend enough time with the kids because he only sees them or takes them out for a few hours, and then he goes back to his sister's trailer house. I see why my mother doesn't want to live here, but she can't do anything alone with many kids, especially two little kids who require lots of treatment, Damian and Ovi. As long as my mom's ex-boyfriend doesn't come back to live here, then almost all the time this house will be at peace. I'm just glad that her ex-boyfriend has some feelings at least for his children. Moving on to the next topic, I've been really sick. I thought I probably had salmonella, but I went to the hospital and it turned out to be a viral intestinal infection. I actually went to the hospital by myself for the first time in my life. It was strange being in the waiting room without a parent or someone I know, but I did very well! The worst part of the hospital visit was that I had to wait almost two hours in the waiting room while I had severe abdominal pain. I understand that hospitals can be really busy, so people have to wait, but I still wish that waiting rooms weren't so long, especially for people in severe pain. It was all worth it as I received my blood test results and X-Ray results because I needed an update about whether everything inside my body is okay. The results all listed that I am completely healthy. I only had a high white blood count, but that's normal when you're very sick. Other than that, I'm healthy, and it is now confirmed that I have chronic fatigue from medication, and not because of something that is wrong in my body. Speaking of medication, I've been taking a much lower dosage of Gabapentin, which is 100 milligrams twice a day, or 200 milligrams a day. Hopefully, I gain more energy from this low dosage. I can't wait to have normal energy levels again because I could finally get a job with no chronic fatigue. I've had two jobs on my mind, and one of them is working at a hospital as a patient access representative, which is someone that works at the front desk of the hospital or the first hospital staff that people meet in the hospital. The people with that job help patients like having them sign some documents or making appointments. There's much more to the job, and it seems like a perfect fit for me. I only need my high school diploma to have the job, which I have! Another job that I would love to take is the job of a psychiatric technician, which is someone that helps patients at a mental hospital with their needs like feeding them, speaking to them, and etc. I have experience in taking care of people thanks to me for babysitting my siblings. Some mental hospitals require a high school diploma for the job, and others require a certificate or associate degree in psychology. Whatever job that I get in the future has to be a job that I love. I really do have many future plans that I love to imagine about, so I'm very ready to become an adult.

- September 29, 2021