Dance Through Trauma

January 9, 2022

I begin my first ever job tomorrow starting at 9am. I've been texting the manager of the store that I am going to work at on Facebook. She unfortunately has COVID-19, so another manager will talk to me tomorrow. I was nervous these past few weeks for this day, but today, I am only a bit nervous and mostly excited. I'm not going to focus much on my anxiety even though it's normal just because I don't want it to get really bad, so I will distract myself from it and enjoy the present. I've realized that Netflix helps me feel more calm throughout the day, which is why I will stay with them from now on. I really love the sci-fi shows that they have. Any film related to sci-fi gives me a sense of mystery and content, which is what I would love to feel throughout the day if I could choose what I could feel for the rest of the day, or life. I'm going to watch some Netflix before I go to work every work day to feel pleasant at my job. I don't want to go to my job feeling mentally drained or something like that, so I would like to feel good when going there or be content when there. I'm planning on saving all my earnings this year in the bank, which by the way, I have a bank account! I made a bank account days ago at the nearest bank, and everything went so easy and smooth. Anxiety told me that it was going to be complicated, but it turned out to be something calm. It really convinced me not to pay attention to anxiety at all when it comes to trying out new things (that are obviously safe). All my money will go to my bank account, and I'm keeping most of my earnings this year on the account. I'll pay rent once per month and finish off paying my hospital bill, and nothing else will be spent. Starting February 2023, I will use all of my earnings from January 2023 and forward from that date towards what is needed and what is wanted. I want my own apartment in 2023, and I also hope to have a driver's license by then. I've been driving without a permit, so it feels uncomfortable because I don't want to get a ticket on the road and get in trouble, especially since I want to be a police officer. I want a perfect, clean record, so I will look for a friend in person that I hope to make somewhere who has a driver's license, so that I can take the permit test. I might have to give them money, so some earnings will go towards that as well, but hopefully it's not too expensive. Well, I hope everything goes well for me tomorrow at work! Cheers to my future.

- January 9, 2022