Dance Through Trauma

October 6, 2021

Last night was insane. My mom's boyfriend and I were arguing, and I had to defend my sister and mom from him by throwing something at him. So, let me explain how it all happened. A few days ago, my mother's boyfriend came back to live with us again. Everything was going well at home, and it was so peaceful until my mom's boyfriend started asking dumb questions about a message from a male friend of my mom that said "Hi, how are you?" He went through my mother's phone while she was in the shower and tried to find something he could use to put it against her. He's done that so many times in the past, and it is one of the reasons why he would physically abuse her. It irritated me so much when I heard their argument that night. The next night, October 5, my mother and her boyfriend had an argument after my mother heard a woman speaking and a baby crying in the background while she called her boyfriend with a private number. She heard it clearly, but her boyfriend kept quiet and laughed at what my mom was saying. His laugh sounded so evil that I felt nauseous. How more evil can this man get? After that, they argued again after a short time of silence. He started attacking my mom verbally, so I jumped in and yelled at him about all of the bad things that he's done in the past, and reminded him that he is a criminal. He was defending himself and said that I would regret it one day. He then told me that he didn't want an idiot like me living in his house. How can he defend himself knowing the evil things that he has done in his life? It made me angry to see such a human being. After we argued a lot, he proceeded to leave the house, but before he did, I saw him try to take my sister Kathleen away from my mother's arms, and it was getting physical. I recalled his odd look on his face and odd behavior from the arguments that indicated that he was on drugs. He was trying to kidnap my sister, and was going to take her away in his car while on drugs (turns out that he was drunk), so he would risk my sister's life. He was getting physical, so without even thinking, I immediately grabbed a plastic bathroom cleaner thing that is like a big plastic bottle, and threw it at his head. He fell unconscious, which shocked me because I only threw plastic at him. It was definitely his high consumption of alcohol that knocked him to the ground and not a plastic bottle-like thing. The plastic thing had some liquid in it, but it was not even heavy. It was a soft thing, so when he fell unconscious, I was completely confused. My mom was crying when it happened, and said that I would go to jail, and that I couldn't go there. Damian was shocked, and my sister Kathleen was crying. I felt bad that they had to witness the fight, but I did what I did to defend my sister and my mother from a dangerous man with a serious criminal history. I don't trust that man to take my sister with him alone because he is not capable of being a parent. He was drunk at the time, and couldn't drive with my sister away to wherever he was going. What I did is justified, and I literally just threw a plastic thing, not a big rock. The unconscious thing happened because he was very drunk. It was still a scary experience though, so I cried that night after everyone went to sleep. Yeah, he stayed home to sleep, but there were no more problems. I was afraid that I would be in big legal trouble even though what I did was justified according to the self-defense laws of Missouri. However, I am afraid that he will do something to me for what I threw at him even though it was plastic. I'm much better right now at 3 PM, October 6. I was full of anxiety last night though because I never thought any of what happened would ever happen. I was worried that I would go to jail even if what I did was to defend my mom and sister because that happens in some states in this country but thankfully, Missouri gives everyone the right to self-defend and defend others from danger. The man, my mom's boyfriend, is a dangerous man because of his criminal history, and shouldn't be alone with children. I believed that he was on drugs as well (he was actually drunk), so he couldn't just take her and drive away while being incapable of driving as that would risk the life of my sister. My sister was also kind of screaming and worried when that man tried to take her away from my mother's arms. What I did was the right thing to do in order to protect my sister and mother from a dangerous criminal. I'm just worried that he will do something terrible to one of us. I really wonder when things will get better for my family because I am so tired of us living this way.

- October 6, 2021