Dance Through Trauma

April 14, 2022

I have stomach sickness again. I'm seriously so tired of my sensitive stomach, and it's definitely due to the medication that I take because I always have had unpleasant side effects from antidepressants. I've had a few embarrassing moments due to this. I really want to stop taking it but I'm going to ask my doctor to decrease my dosage to 20mg to see if it'll make my side effects improve because I am completely done with being sick every month or two from a sensitive stomach. I rather be dead than live with a painful stomach illness. Other than the bad news, I do have good news. I'm getting the job at the school soon, but I have to turn in my fingerprints once I get them on Wednesday at this place where I will have to pay around 40$ for the fingerprints. Once that's done, I can officially start working on the evenings at the schools. I think I'm going to work at four different schools. The K-2nd grade school, the 3rd to 6th grade school, the 7th to 8th grade school, and the high school. I'm just glad it's in the evenings because I'll work by myself without being socially anxious. I start at 3PM so there will still be kids at whatever school I have to go to clean, which will make me nervous for a while but I'll get used to it then. Plus they're there for only an hour when I arrive for the job, and then I can be alone! The boss said that I can listen to music while I work, but I have to make sure I am able to hear when someone is calling for me like one of the workers or whoever needs me. I really think the job will work out for me. There's very little human interaction on the job, so I'll survive. I can handle the physical work that cleaning will put on me. I'm mentally prepared for physical work, as long as it's not a job where I have to carry a thing that is 90 pounds too often or a job with terrible conditions. I'm excited for this job. The only thing that will get in the way of it would definitely be the annoying stomach illnesses, which is why I am going to start to stick with a diet that will only include soft, healthy foods. I will try my best to avoid greasy foods like hot dogs and burgers. I've been eating lots of hot dogs these past few weeks. I have a planned-out diet written in my notes that look just like this:

Everyday Meals

1st meal: salmon fish, yogurt, and sliced fruits (papaya, apples, bananas, berries of any kind)
2nd meal: (2A meal) white rice, pasta & cooked vegetables (avocado, broccoli, carrots, cauliflower, corn) or (2B meal) spaghetti, mashed potatoes, macaroni & cheese, with cooked vegetables
3rd meal: Cereal (3 hours before going to sleep)

Occasional foods you can add in any meal: Soup, beans, eggs, & sandwiches. And small snacks can be eaten between the 2nd and 3rd meal (must be an hour before the 3rd meal).

I am going to try to go with my mom next time when we go out for groceries and get these items. I want to save them for myself if I had my own fridge but I'll add my foods in one section of the fridge, and the other non-refrigerated foods on my own shelf in the kitchen that I'll figure out. I am much more convinced now to start all of this to maintain a healthy stomach life and avoid stomach problems as much as possible because stomach sickness is seriously the worst sickness that I have ever experienced on this Earth. Cheers to a healthy lifestyle because I would still choose being healthy and die in my 50s instead of being unhealthy and die in my 90s.

- April 14, 2022