Dance Through Trauma

August 3, 2022

Well wow, I haven't written in so long because so many good things have occurred! We finally moved into our new home on July 15. I paid the rent and bill deposits. An organization in my town donated so many things to us like beds, bathroom stuff, clothes, diapers, tables, and kitchen utensils. The moving-in process was stressful especially because the kids were out of control since my mom and I were busy. The kids were all excited about the new house. Oh, and by the way, my mom and her ex had court again this September 21 because her interpreter was unable to show up back in July. My mom's ex did show up this time with his sister and a lawyer. The lawyer is only there for the money! We have very good evidence, so we will win with or without a lawyer, and we got God on our side! Since moving in, I've improved a lot. I'm finally off of my medication, and I reached out to a few people my age in town. I even hung out with two guys who live in town! I met one of them through Facebook, and they were fun and nice. Their family too was nice! They gave me pizza and bought me a drink. I can't wait to hang out with Ryan and Jacob again. They're cool. I also have been texting a girl who's in town named Kira, and she is awesome! I need to meet up with her soon. There's also a church youth group that meets up every Monday evening at a house, but I'll only be able to go next Monday since I start working evenings again starting on the 15th. There's another guy on Facebook who asked me to let him know if I want to meet up with him and his church youth group, and they're available everyday. I've had people reach out to me to be friends since I asked for friends on a Facebook post on my town's Facebook private group with over 5 thousand members. Even better news: There's new unreleased music from Selena Quintanilla! Her new single came out days ago, and her new album comes out later this month. I'm beyond happy so far ever since moving out. I can finally sleep at night with my door opened, knowing that I won't be hurt by my mom's ex. I can finally stay in my room in peace without having to force myself to eavesdrop since I used to be afraid that my mom's ex would abuse my mom or siblings while I was in my room. We're all finally safe in sound, and happier than ever. However, my mom doesn't like the landlord because he was rude to her yesterday when he came by to collect the rent money, but he is going to start working on the house this Thursday, so we should have a new floor and the house should look better than it does now. Work has been going well, but I'm tired of having to wake up so early in the morning. I'm glad my evening shift is coming back since school's about to start (I'm a school custodian, remember?). I've been watching this show on Netflix called Shameless, a showtime show, and I'm in love with it. The ginger-head gay character in the show makes me want to fall in love again. He reminds me so much of this guy that I had a thing with back in 2020 who I'll nickname as the "Kentucky boy." I'm over that guy, but the show's gay character, Ian Gallagher, makes me wish he was my boyfriend. The other gay character in the show who's name is Mikey makes me want a strong conservative aggressive man as a boyfriend. Haha! I miss being in love. That show is the reason why I started searching for friends again. It made me realize that friendship is beautiful, and that I shouldn't fear it because now I have God within me. So, as you can see, I am seriously making a hell of a lot of progress in my life right now. I love you August 2022, and most importantly, God!

- August 3, 2022