Bungou Stray Dogs x Male Reader Oneshots

Chuuya x Reader

Request from @Aiden_thedummy_
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✨emotional damage✨
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"Do you ever wonder what it would be like to leave this place?" The question seemed to echo around the small room, even the walls leaned in to get a better look at the confused expression of my partner. I didn't pull my serious gaze away from Chuuya's icy eyes as he took a moment to think over exactly what I was asking.

"I guess I have but I don't think I'm leaving the Port Mafia anytime soon," he stated with a hand coming up to rub behind his head in thought. He hadn't understood my question though and so I sent him a small shake of my head. His eyes began to narrow even before I clarified what I had been asking.

"That's not what I mean. I want to know if you've ever wondered about death," I whispered, now unsure of my choice with each moment that passed. Chuuya frowned in irritation as he smacked his hand upside the back of my head. My body jolted forward but I didn't tear away my curious stare.

"We've talked about this behavior before, now knock it off," he hissed through clenched teeth, his hand raising as if he would smack me again. I didn't move away, awaiting the pain that never came. Instead, a gentle grip on my wrist tugged my hand to rest on Chuuya's chest. His expression had taken on a more saddened look that made me regret ever bringing the subject up. The warmth from his chest pulled my thoughts away from my morbid mind to focus on the rise and fall of his breathing.

For as long as I can remember, I've never been afraid of dying. The idea of it didn't make me sad or scared but brought around an everlasting curiosity. Some worried about my intentions, such as Chuuya, but it was never a wish of harm to myself, just an impassive realization. When the time came for me to die, I wouldn't wish for more time but instead accept what my inevitable fate is, as it is for everyone.

"Why can't you just be happy to be alive for once?" The quiet murmur resonated through my fingertips all the way to my heart. No matter what anyone did, there was no changing a mindset that has been permanently engraved in my whole being. That still didn't mean that there weren't a select few that could chase these feelings away for a bit though.

"It's not that I'm not happy to be alive. You make this life worth living but I'd also happily die if it meant you were safe," I tried to explain but the deepening frown of Chuuya showed that I wasn't doing a good enough job. He let out a scoff before pulling away from me, my hand falling from his chest. This topic always seemed to upset him no matter how many times we talked it out. He was never going to hear what he wanted.

"Sometimes I wonder if you even know how much I love you. The shit you talk about hurts like hell," he sighed, his back to me as he grabbed his coat. I didn't say anything knowing that it would only make things worse. It hurt like hell to see him like this too but I wasn't going to lie to him and say I love being alive just for the sake of it.

Chuuya made a grab for the doorknob before he paused. This would be the chance I had to say something to bring him back but nothing was said. He let out a sad laugh as he kicked open the door, slamming it behind him. "I love you too Chuuya," I whispered to the walls.

~~~

The night was full of death as I stood over the bodies of my victims. A part of me hated myself for it but the other part of me was swimming in ecstasy at how close to death I was. I could see it, smell it, practically taste it in the air. It was a good thing that Chuuya wasn't here to witness my joy over something that definitely wasn't life.

The danger was high with a chance of mortality which is why I was sent to deal with things. Unlike many others, death didn't scare me away from a job. I had requested that Chuuya not find out about this particular assignment in hopes that he would be safe. They say ignorance is bliss and so I was going to keep him in as much ecstasy as I was in.

It didn't matter anyway cause it appeared my job was finished quickly. The group was easy to kill and I didn't have to worry about hiding anything or being careful. Giving a bored sigh as the high started to dissipate, I turned to find a very pissed looking Chuuya at the entrance of the building.

"You son of a bit—you thought you could hide this from me?!" he rambled in a shout. The echo bounced off the walls and filled the space with betrayal. He strode over to me with murder in his eyes. "We're partners, we're supposed to do this together. What the hell has been the matter with you lately?"

I was about to respond when the sound of a soft click reverberated in my ears. There was no time to think as I shot forward to wrap my arms around Chuuya's body as an ear splitting shot cut through the air along with the bullet that dug into my back. It didn't take long for Chuuya to pull out his own gun and shoot the assassin but it was already too late.

Everything was a blur but the gut wrenching pain blossoming in my torso along with the warmth leaking down my back was in hyper focus. I couldn't even believe I had been shot but with Chuuya cursing as he lowered my limp body the realization hit with clarity. Something was punctured deep inside my body and my chances of survival were dwindling right before my eyes.

"Knock it off! Quit that! Stay focused," Chuuya yelled at me as he snapped his fingers in front of my blurred vision. I had just enough draining strength to look him in the eyes but I almost didn't want to. Tears were spilling down his face and he looked ready to sob. A different kind of pain flared through me at the sight.

I attempted to raise my hand but my muscles felt like lead and it was hard to think past the pain. It wasn't long until my breathing started to rattle in my lungs, Chuuya letting out enraged screams through desperate cries. His hands were beginning to feel hot against my cold skin but I didn't point that out.

"Please, don't do this. Stay longer," he pleaded between sobs but we both knew this wasn't a choice. I opened my mouth to respond only to cough, something wet dribbling from my lips. By the horrified look on Chuuya's face I could take a guess what was dripping down my chin.

"I love you," I rasped out in a whisper. Eyes squeezed tight and mouth open to scream again, Chuuya let his anger pour from him as my vision began to darken, the pain washing away in a mist. It was then I realized what this emotionally painful feeling was. I wasn't afraid of dying. I was afraid of leaving him.