Bungou Stray Dogs x Male Reader Oneshots

Fyodor x Reader

Thanks @KilluasChocorobos for the request!
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‼️emotional damage‼️
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What was life at this point?  Something told me that laying around in a bed with little to no strength to move through the day was not living.  It was just not dying and proved to not be a joyful existence.  I guess I should count myself as lucky for living so long after being struck with an ability years ago that should've killed me instantly.  Nothing about this felt like a blessing though. 
    
Although now that I thought about it, that wasn't entirely true.  If there was absolutely nothing left for me to live for then I would've been gone long ago.  I suppose there was one reason I was still shakily moving through life, trying to keep up before it passed me by and left me six feet under. 
    
A sigh slid past my lips, the one thing I could do easily without feeling pain or exhaustion.  How long would it be until even breathing became a chore?  I couldn't let myself think like that unless I was ready to fully die, the idea sounding a bit less promising as I thought about the one thing I'd be leaving behind that truly mattered to me. 
    
"There he is!  How is my wonderful prince feeling today?  I apologize for being late," Fyodor's voice rang out as he gently walked into the room.  In the beginning, this would actually be more terrifying than his usual flourish but after a bit of time I started to realize he was being more gentle and careful due to my worsening condition.  I did appreciate it but it also reminded me constantly of my limited time left. 
    
"I'm feeling alright, just a bit tired is all," I whispered raspily, promptly coughing afterwards as if to point out my lies, stupid traitorous body.  Fyodor lifted his head to stare at me with concern in his eyes, even his polite smile twitching.  He slowly strode near to me, crouching down by my bed to pet my head.  I rolled my eyes at his belittling behavior even as I leaned into the touch before my stare flickered to the other figures walking into my room. 
    
"Y/n!  What a lovely sight you are, just as Fyodor always says!" Nikolai shouted out cheerily, practically skipping to my other side.  I felt Fyodor's hand on my head tense up but he didn't pull away, only glaring at the white haired ball of energy that was now sitting on the edge of the bed with a wide smirk.  He knew he was teasing Fyodor but he didn't seem to fear any of the consequences, something I respected about him. 
    
There was more shuffling coming from the door as a gentle smile pulled at my lips.  The whole Decay of Angels now stood in my room with soft expressions of care and concern.  I watched as Sigma settled by my feet at the end of the bed and gently laid his hand on my ankle with a careful grin.  Even Fukuchi and Bram had joined, both of them lingering in the corner but still managing a wave, and in Bram's case a nod. 
    
"You all are amazing but what's the occasion?" I quietly whispered, my hand moving up to absently twirl Fyodor's hair around my finger.  The movement made him close his eyes in comfort, his own hand sliding down my head till he gently cupped my face.  He seemed to be extra affectionate tonight even in front of his comrades. 
    
"Fyodor suggested we should all visit you and so here we are to cheer you up in any ways necessary!" Nikolai happily beamed down at me.  I could tell he was trying to keep the mood light but it was starting to become clear what was happening here.  Fyodor knew I was dying more quickly and was afraid that I wouldn't be able to say goodbye to them all at once after tonight. 
    
"We know you're not doing as well y/n and we want to support you," Sigma quietly confirmed my theory.  Nervous goosebumps rose along my body but I couldn't even frown.  All of my friends were here along with Fyodor who was now gazing at me with his dread filled eyes.  I was starting to become convinced that my death would hurt him more than me when that fateful moment came around.  By his observations, it wouldn't be long now.  Perhaps a few days if I even made it to then. 
    
"Thank you guys.  I appreciate it and I know that when I die, I'll be remembering this moment," I whispered, my voice cracking as I blinked away my tears.  This wasn't the time to break down.  With limited time, I couldn't spend my seconds on silly things like crying when I could be focused on the way Fyodor was now crawling into the bed with me, his arms curling around my shaky and frail body. 
    
"What am I supposed to do without you, my lovely prince?  I don't think I'm ready," Fyodor tenderly spoke, pressing his face to my neck.  I felt his jaw clench before something wet trailed down my skin where he cried softly.  With how he was breaking down, I couldn't help the few tears of my own that slid over my face as I weakly pulled him closer.  The action seemed to take a lot of my limited energy, my muscles aching with just the small movement. 
   
"I'm so sorry.  I don't want to go.  I don't think I'm ready either," I cried, curling against Fyodor's trembling body as Sigma squeezed my ankle gently, Nikolai's usual smile wavering when he reached over to take my hand reassuringly.  Even Fukuchi and Bram looked sullen but still kept to themselves at a respectful distance. 
    
Surrounded by everyone I cared about took the pain away but there was still the dull ache of death hanging over me, ready to take me at any moment away from this wonderfully broken family of mine.  There was nothing that could be done.  I've survived this long and was lucky for the extra moments spared for me.  It gave me another day spent with Fyodor before I couldn't get up, another moment laughing with Nikolai before I ran out of energy to do so, it gave me another gentle head pat from Fukuchi and another card game with Sigma.  As much as I didn't want to go, I was about ready.