Bungou Stray Dogs x Male Reader Oneshots

Jouno x Reader (Part 2)

For everyone that wanted to see how the pain ends...
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Twisting and turning in my bed all night long, I was plagued by relentless nightmares.  I'd get chilly without Jouno there to keep me warm but when I threw a blanket over my trembling body, I'd instantly get uncomfortable with the tangling sensation of being trapped.  Whenever I happened to fall asleep, I was woken up shortly after by a nightmare or the change in temperature. 
    
"To hell with this," I hissed out at one point, giving up on even trying to get rest as I rolled out of bed with a groan.  When I checked the time, it was only slightly past one in the morning.  Sighing in defeat, I trudged to the kitchen to see if I had a spare snack.  Food would hopefully make everything better but that was before I realized that my fridge was empty. 
    
Slamming the fridge door in frustration, I made a mental note to hit up the store tomorrow to buy food.  Jouno had no trouble getting groceries before so I haven't had to worry about it for at least a month.  It was something I'd have to get used to now that he wasn't with me anymore. 
    
A fresh wave of pain washed through my chest as I frowned bitterly.  There were plenty of things I'd have to get used to if we truly didn't work out.  If he never showed up or called me, if he even showed up and I knew that nothing would fix itself.  I couldn't deny that I missed Jouno though and the thought of never seeing him again made me feel sick.  I briefly wondered if he was thinking about me as well.

~~~

Jouno POV

I had quickly given up on even trying to sleep as I navigated my way through the night streets in search of the one person I should've never pushed away.  Y/n had lived around here if my memory served me well.  Certain parts of the neighborhood were familiar from when I last walked through here with a cheery guy on my arm about a month ago.  That was before I started letting him down. 
    
Clenching my teeth, I tried to keep my mind from wandering down the dark path of all that I'd done to him and all that I didn't do for him.  He didn't deserve the horrible circumstances I created for him, brushing him off when he warned me that he'd leave.  I'd never be able to live with what I'd done if he never came back to me.  I needed him back. 
    
Familiar stairs reached my feet as I started to become desperate to hear his voice again, taking the steps two at a time in my hurry to reach him.  Nearly tripping on the top stair, I righted myself quickly before racing down the wraparound walkway in search of his apartment.  A faint scent I recognized floated through the air, my whole body perking up as I traced the scent to the farthest door down the walkway. 
    
"Y/n!  Let me in please, we need to talk," I called out, rapidly knocking on the door.  A long moment passed before I knocked again, insistent and definitely annoying.  If he was asleep, I needed to wake him up.  This couldn't wait any longer, absolutely not till morning either.  I'd wake up all the neighbors if I had to, anything it took to bring y/n back. 
    
"Alright!  Knock it off before they evict me for noise pollution," y/n shouted, his voice muffled by the door as I heard him turn the locks.  When the door opened, I was instantly dragged into his apartment before I could mutter another word.  He seemed eager to bring me inside, or he wanted this to be over quickly.  Either way, he was in front of me now. 
    
Sighing, it felt like I could finally breathe again as I felt y/n's impatient emotions swirling between us along with an underlying tension.  The tap of his foot on the floor was erratic and nervous unlike his attempt of making him seem nonchalant.  My hopes began to rise as I collected myself, restraining myself from latching onto him...just barely. 
    
"Whatever this is, make it quick.  I'm tired and don't want to deal with this right now," he sighed.  Part of it was true, I could feel his exhaustion tainting the air and making it heavy.  The way his heartbeat had kicked up told me he was looking forward to this conversation despite the way he kept trying to brush me off.  I just wanted to pull him close to me and cradle him to sleep. 
    
"You were right.  I wasn't taking us seriously, wasn't taking you seriously.  It wasn't fair to you that you were the only one keeping us together when it was a two person job," I started, feeling the weight of every word as I spoke them.  Saying it out loud made me truly see just how bad things were for y/n.  I couldn't even comprehend being stuck in a relationship like that. 
    
"I will never let that happen to you again.  It took losing you to make me realize just how much I need you, y/n.  I'm so sorry for the way I treated you and if you don't come back, I understand.  It would hurt but I do understand why you wouldn't come back.  If you do end up coming back though, I'll never treat you like that again," I promised with finality, my voice shaky at the mere prospect of him turning me away.  I'd let him go of course but it would be hard to heal from. 
    
"If I come back...you'll take us seriously right?  No more taking me for advantage?" he whispered.  The hurt in his voice nearly broke me all over again.  He was truly scared that I'd brush him off again.  Leaning towards him, I gently took his hands in mine to hold.  I couldn't see it but I knew that there were tears pricking his eyes.  To know I was the cause of his pain felt truly horrible. 
    
"Never again.  I promise you," I whispered back with clarity.  Arms wrapped around me as I held y/n back just as fiercely, pushing my face against his neck, feeling every shaky breath he took through his tears.  Pressing reassuring kisses against his skin, I felt him melt at my touch.  I knew I was growing weak as well when he brought one of his hands up, a soft jingle breaking the silence as he flicked my earring. 
    
Laughing softly at y/n's impulse, I trailed my lips over his jaw and to his lips where I rested for a bit.  He let out a hum of approval as he kissed me gently.  I knew I'd never be able to hurt him again when I fully recognized how much I'd be losing if I did.  It would mean no late night cuddles, no flicking of my earring, no promise of y/n and no more easy joy.  I'd die before I let that ever happen again.