Bungou Stray Dogs x Male Reader Oneshots

Chuuya x Reader (Part 1)

Thanks @kazuwuq for the request!
——————————————————————————

I couldn't think of a time when I didn't love him. It was hard to even recall the parts of my life that he wasn't a part of in one way or another. So then why was I ready to leave him now after a life spent revolved around him?

There could've been many factors, all of them selfish in every way. Maybe it was the lack of self respect I had when I was around him, always ready to dote on him even when it meant sacrificing a part of me. Maybe it was the way he had started to take me for granted, brushing me off when I did my best to please him in any way I could. Maybe it was the new guy that had shown up in my life, treating me as a prince like I've never been treated before.

It was time for me to leave and not even Chuuya could make me stay. I knew how much it was going to hurt though. It would be the equivalent of having my heart torn out from my chest while I was still alive. I was bound to bleed out but I knew I wouldn't die. Someone new would be there to take care of me and then the healing process would begin. It might take a long time but I'd make it through.

The question would be then what was going to happen with Chuuya. Would he care if I left him? If I broke apart what we've spent years building up? With how I've felt shunned lately I wouldn't be surprised if he barely batted an eye. It's not like he appreciated me around already so who cares if I left? But then the memories would come back and it always sent tears in my eyes.

Zipping up my pack in despairing frustration, I took one last look around the room. All of my stuff was packed up and ready to be taken far away from here, far from Chuuya. The finality of it made my unshed tears finally spill.

Taking a final glance around the room through my blurry vision, I shouldered the bag on my back with decisiveness. Anything I left behind or forgotten would stay here. I never planned on coming back here again regardless of what I missed. With a shaky sigh, I placed an envelope on the bed before turning away to face the door where a figure stood.

"Where the hell are you going?" Chuuya asked with a mildly irritated tilt of his head. Instantly wiping away any of my remaining tears, I straightened my back to face him head on. I had to be strong so the last thing he remembered of me wasn't the way I buckled to my knees for him but the way I stood tall and fearless.

"I'm leaving and I'm not coming back. I can't do this anymore," I stated calmly, steeling my voice to an impassive tone. Chuuya could see right through all of that though as his eyes narrowed and a frown pulled at his lips. He looked concerned but I couldn't think of it like that or I might end up never leaving.

"What do you mean you're not coming back? You really think you can leave the Port Mafia?" he laughed out yet there was no humor in it. He already knew what this was about by the way his eyes started to glisten with tears building up. That despairing look in his eyes was something I'd never forget even years later.

"I'm leaving you. We're done, you'll never see me again after this," I proclaimed, my voice slightly more shaky this time with each moment I still remained here. I needed to get away from him. He'd be able to trap me back here and I already knew someone else waited outside in the getaway car, someone who had already stolen my heart.

Chuuya only stared at me as his expression shifted to one of pure anguish. He stepped closer to me as I tensed up, prepared for almost anything. What I wasn't prepared for was the way he sank onto his knees and grabbed my hand desperately, leaving me speechless.

"I'll fix it, whatever I did, we can work it out. Please, we've been together too long to throw it all away," he started to beg, tears spilling down his face. My own eyes watered as I looked away from him. My mind was already made up and a few empty words weren't going to fix what was already broken.

"I'm sorry but I can't stay. Someone's waiting for me outside," I muttered sadly, pulling my hand away from him as I started to walk away. He wasn't going to let me go that easily though as he shot to his feet to grip my wrist harshly. When I spun around to shout at him, I only saw a dreadful hollowness reflected back at me.

"You can't go. I love you too much," he cried, choking on his words. Something in my chest began to ache at the sight, knowing that I was only going to hurt him more. He would never know what it was like for me these last few years, all the pain I had to endure with my own lover not caring to help me. He'd feel it now.

"If you actually loved me, you'd let me go be happy with someone else, someone who will give me the happiness that you never bothered yourself with providing," I whispered brokenly. Chuuya's gaze locked with mine, intense and hurtful. After a few heart breaking moments, he relented, his grip loosening as his arms wrapped around his shaky body. He began to sob as I left him, walking out the door without a final glance behind me. My old life was dead but I wasn't sad or angry, just melancholy for the heart I had to break to be sure that mine never was again.