Reader (The ADA)

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Thanks @EarlGrey954 for the request!
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‼️mentions of gender dysphoria and transitioning from female to male‼️
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It was one of the agency's occasional get-togethers in the office after hours when I felt an all too familiar feeling spreading through my body.  It was small at first, an impression of an old life I no longer lived but as the night wore on, it increased to an uncomfortable amount that made me squirm. 

After a bit of time, I managed to stuff the dysphoria down far enough that I didn't immediately stand up and leave.  These were my friends after all...even if they didn't know all of my secrets like the one under my shirt. 

"And then the guy left which I found strange so I followed him only to come across this really attractive woman...y/n, are you alright?" Dazai paused his rambling to ask.  His attention caused a few of our other friends to perk up as well just enough to glance at me and check that I was okay.  It was a kind gesture but under the stares of many people when I was using all my energy to calm myself down wasn't exactly a move in my favor. 

"I'm perfectly fine!  Just a few too many drinks, I think," I laughed softly, instantly relieved as my other friends and coworkers went back to their own conversations.  It took everything in me not to breathe a sigh of relief as Dazai gave me a final glance before rambling on about his story.  Every time he said the word 'woman', I felt a sickly feeling spread in my stomach. 

After a few more minutes of Dazai's rambling and nonsensical explanations, my mind wandered elsewhere like I feared it would.  I had to repeatedly tell myself that I wasn't in that life or body anymore and that I truly was a man now.  I had the scars on my chest to prove it along with other changes that made me a passing and cheerful guy.  So why was this feeling curling up out of nowhere? 

"Did someone leave their wallet over here?  Your money is falling out along with your ID," Junichiro called out curiously from across the room.  There was a brief moment where everyone patted themselves down to see if the object was theirs.  I did the same, sure that I had mine in my coat pocket.  When my fingers brushed empty air where my wallet should've been I felt my entire body freeze up in horror.  That was my wallet he had...with my ID...the one that had my legal name and old picture on it. 

"Don't touch it!" I yelled out suddenly, scrambling up and out of my chair to try to make it to Junichiro before he touched it.  By the blush on his face and the way his eyes widened in shock, I knew it was too late by the time I snatched the wallet from his hands.  He had seen it.  He knew that I was trans, that I wasn't born this way.  The fear and shock of it was enough to make me want to curl in a hole and waste away. 

"Y/n, why didn't you tell us before?  You know none of us would think differently of you," Junichiro quietly assured as he reached out for me.  I took a stumbling step away from him only to find Kunikida behind me with a concerned expression on his face.  His eyes looked over my shoulder to see my ID still face up in my hands.  I shoved the stupid picture and name into my wallet as I tried my best to collect my thoughts and breathing. 

"It's nothing to be ashamed of y/n.  You don't need to hide from us," Kunikida stated calmly.  I felt tears sting my eyes at his kind words knowing they both meant what they said.  It was hard though to undo a mentality you've grown up knowing and fearing.  If coming out was truly that easy then I would've done it sooner but the sad truth was that there were always risks to these types of things.  I felt the curious stares of my other friends and coworkers demanding answers from me considering they didn't see the secret of my wallet.  It would only be a matter of time until they guessed correctly though. 

"I trust you all but there's some things I just couldn't share early on.  I didn't want you to think that this was a part of my identity.  I'm not a damn female anymore and I didn't want anyone trying to see me as one," I whispered brokenly, trembling at the confession.  My eyes lifted to gaze at everyone's reactions.  Kunikida looked calm.  Junichiro still looked surprised and bashful.  Yosano looked at me kindly while Dazai smiled softly.  Atsushi gave me a thumbs up and Ranpo looked unsurprised but also gave me an encouraging nod of approval. 

"We're all going to care for you either way.  If there's anything I can help you with at all, let me know and we can work something out," Yosano winked, standing to approach me before she held her arms out.  I gave her a wide smile as I fell into her hug.  It wasn't long until our other coworkers joined in as well.  It made me feel warm and fuzzy, my dysphoria chased away at the acceptance of my friends. 

"You're our man, y/n and we'll support you through it all," Atsushi softly stated, cuddling against my flat chest.  One day, I'd show my friends the scars on my chest.  Kunikida would help me change my ID to an updated and accurate version.  Yosano would offer me bottom surgery and take care of my monthly injections.  All of them already accept and support me and will continue to do so for as long as we all live.

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