Bungou Stray Dogs x Male Reader Oneshots

Nikolai x Reader (Part 1)

Thanks @-N1K0LAI for the request! (This is a alternative to another story)
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I paced around the room, worried about what might've happened to him that was making him so late. He probably suspected that I would be wondering if he was stuck in traffic or got caught up with an old friend but with a mind reading ability, I was more concerned on whether he lost his life or was thrown into prison. He didn't even know the heart attacks he gave me when he stayed out late.

I glanced at the clock again to see the late hour staring back at me tauntingly. A small part of me wanted nothing more than to destroy the dastardly piece of machinery for telling me how long Nikolai was away from me but then he'd be suspicious of what might've happened and I didn't want to work up a believable lie to tell him. That, of course, was if he ever returned home to question my destruction.

My hands tugged at my hair in distress with the lack of messages on my phone and my desperate need to be holding my lover in my arms, even when my lover was a murderer. The truth had been a shock the first time my ability activated and gave away that he was a member of the Decay of Angels and of course the many instances where I was able to see every kill he made. There's more to it than that though, his emotions running deeper than many other people would have. In my eyes, I knew he wasn't a lost cause and that there was more to him than that.

I made sure to keep my ability a secret from him, ensuring that I didn't scare him off with my knowledge. There were even moments when I feared what he would do if he found out that I knew all of his darkest secrets. Would he be forced to kill me and permanently shut me up? His thoughts gave away that he wasn't capable of hurting me but that also didn't mean that someone else wouldn't.

"Y/n? I'm home darling!" Nikolai's voice suddenly echoed through the apartment, cutting off my thoughts. I perked up, shoving my worries deep down as I felt Nikolai pull me into his arms from behind me, my back hitting his chest as he nuzzled his face against my neck. All of my fears washed away in an instant just by feeling his heartbeat thudding against my shoulder blade. Everything felt right again.

"Welcome back! Was there traffic?" I hummed out, leaning into his touch while twisting my head to see his expression. His eyes were shiny as usual, a sly catlike smile stretching across his face. Without his knowledge, I activated my ability to see what truth was beyond the lie he was about to tell me. Immediately I saw the blood that had poured from his target, his own sadistic grin wide and merry despite the gash that had been made on his own chest. I felt my body tense.

"Yeah, just a bit but I'm home now. How was your day darling?" Nikolai stated nonchalantly. This might've been normal pleasantries exchanged in a normal couple but for us it felt like a dance of lies, trying to shuffle through without either of us exposing ourselves. Knowing he was harmed earlier wasn't helping as I felt myself feel a bit sick at the gash I had seen from his mind. If he still had it now then I couldn't just ignore it any longer.

"Are you sure it was traffic? Was that it? Seems like a long time to be stuck," I pressed a bit hesitantly. My head turned to look forward again so he couldn't see the pressing urge in my eyes. What would he even think if I had a mind reading ability? I'd be able to see his true feelings on the matter but would I be able to handle it if he saw it as a betrayal of trust? Of course it wasn't like he's been truthful to me at all or we wouldn't be in this predicament in the first place.

"I asked you how your day was." Nikolai's tone wasn't harsh in its bubbly nature but he somehow made it sound threatening as he clung to me tighter. If I wanted to get out of his hold, I was now becoming hesitant that I would be able to. This somehow felt like a trap that I had walked into and I had a brief thought wondering if his victims usually felt like this.

"It was fine but...are you alright?" I whispered, hedging around the real questions I wanted to ask. Is your chest alright? Can you just tell me what you are so we don't have to do this anymore? Will you kill me once you find out what I am? This charade wouldn't be able to last forever between us and it hurt to think what would happen once we both shared our truths. I've already seen his fears of me leaving him but I wouldn't ever turn my back on him. It was probably him that would turn his back on me.

"Where is all of this coming from? Did you hear something from someone? Y/n, whatever this is just spit it out already. Tell me what you know," he demanded, spinning me around before grasping my arms a bit harshly. I truly felt trapped now as he glared at me, his smile menacing and twitching as if he wanted to frown but couldn't seem to do it. Reading his mind, I could tell he was afraid of what I knew about him. He was even running down a list of names that could've tracked me down to reveal his true identity. He didn't have any violent thoughts aimed towards me though.

"I'm so sorry Nikolai. I know everything, my ability told me," I mumbled out, not daring to look into his eyes. Even without looking though I could feel his intense stare, hearing his thoughts go crazy. He was panicked and I was feeding off of his anxiety with my own. I didn't want this to be the end for us but this was also something that was bound to happen at some point.

"Y/n. How much have you seen inside my head? What the hell have you seen?" Nikolai whispered in disbelief, his hands tightening on my arms. His smile was gone now, replaced by a terrifying frown with his eyes wide and searching mine desperately. I couldn't bear to admit the atrocities and secrets he held and committed. He could tell I wasn't going to admit it either as he let go of me completely, taking a dreadful step away from me as his expression completely shut down.

"Nikolai? What are you doing?" I hesitantly questioned, afraid of the way his thoughts started to become blurred from me. He was trying to block my ability from his head, something that was possible to do if you knew what you had to hide from. I should've never told him about my ability, I should've just kept my damn mouth shut and just enjoyed that he had come home at all.

"I put you in a bad spot. If any of my friends find out what you know then you're as good as dead. If they get their hands on you then you'll wish you were dead," he whispered brokenly, staring at me with no emotion left in his head or his eyes. I tried my very best to push my ability farther, to find any hint of pain or regret in his thoughts but everything was a numb swirl of fog. There was no way to tell what he was thinking as he stared at me coldly.

"Wait, they won't find out though. You don't have to do this. Don't push me away, please," I started to beg, the truth of what he was about to do dawning on me painfully. He was already turning around though, no longer able to look at me as I reached out for him pathetically. "Please! You can't leave me like this! I'm sorry about my ability but I can't help it sometimes. I should've told you, I know that but I was afraid you'd keep me away."

Nikolai glanced over his shoulder once and it was enough for me to see a single tear tracing down his otherwise expressionless face. My heart broke at the sight, knowing this was going to hurt him as much as it was already hurting me. There was no changing his mind though as he slid his hand through his cape, enveloping himself in it without another word, leaving me alone to wonder what could've been if he had held me closer than his fear.