JJ
,,Why are you so worked up?" John B ask me and gives me a look.
,,I am not. What makes you think that?" I say irritated.
,,Yeah. He's literal rail of sunshine, John B!" Pope says sarcasticaly.
,,You stormed from Kie's house like it was on fire." John B continues to question me.
,,I was just in a hurry before the crazy chick would show up." I lie.
,,Sure." John B rolls his eyes.
,,Are you mad at Kie or something?" Pope asks.
,,Or nothing. I am not mad." I shake my head.
,,Clearly you are. Everyone could see that from a mile away!" John B backs Pope up.
,,Cleo didn't even want to ride with us. And when we are at the car arrangement, why aren't you riding with your girlfriend?" Pope points out. A way to rub that in.
,,First of all, Kiara isn't my girlfriend. Second of all, I wanted to ride with my best friends. Third of all, Cleo is your girlfriend so maybe, she just wanted a break from you." I say kind of harsh but purposly so. Maybe they leave me alone now.
,,She's not my girlfriend either and you know that so don't be smart with me and you ride with Kie these days only so... don't bullshit us you want spent some quality time with us when it's so obvious you are mad at Kie." Pope doesn't let this go.
,,Leave me alone, will ya?" I ask and look out of the window. I look at the rear view mirror to see Kie's car behind us.
,,You know we won't let this go untill you tell us what's going on. You weren't mad untill the Kooks showed up. Is it about Rafe?" John B asks and by the way I tense he continues.
,,Alright. I hate that guy too but what's new? You knew they dated and shit, right?" John B reminds me.
,,I can't stand that guy. That's all. I don't care they dated. It's not my business." I say.
,,Oh you care, J." Pope states.
,,I don't." I give him a death stare.
,,Jesus, just tell us already. I am tired of this guessing game." John B gives me a look.
,,So don't ask." I point out.
,,Alright. All of us know that feelings are Kiara's department and we don't particulary do that, but you can tell us you know. We are on your side." Pope says.
,,I just hate it, okey? That they have history. It ended bad and she doesn't feel anything for him, but still. She was his girlfriend. His. And by the looks on his face and the way he has been talking to her, he thinks he's changed and he still might get a chance with her. I know it. I know that look." I say the truth out of nowhere. They stay silant for a moment.
,,She loves you. I don't really understand it, because you two are something. You bicker all the time, but she's in love with you anyways. She hates him. We don't know what he did to her when they ended it, but we know it was real bad. He shot her. Assulted her. He might think he's change and still have a chance with her but he doesn't. She hates him and loves you. That won't change." John B reminds me.
,,She loved him first and you know what they say about your first love." I state.
,,You never get over it. You never really stop loving them." I add.
,,I think that doesn't apply in this situation,
man." Pope shakes his head.
,,Normaly your first love isn't a psychopat who almost killed you on multiple occasitons." he adds.
,,And who says it was her first love anyway? We don't know the whole story. There's difference to love someone and be love with someone. She might have loved him, but you don't know if she was in love with him. You are totally overthinking this. She wouldn't go back to him at any cost, I would bet my life on it." John B backs up Pope.
,,She said she wasn't in love with him, but after what he did, she might be just lying to herself." I look back again at her car and sigh.
We don't talk the rest of the way. There's nothing else to say. They said everything to convince me but I'm still not sure.
I try to remember her speach when she told me I am enough, but... am I? I am just a low life from the cut. Everyone knows it, she might realized that when this new feelings for me worn off of her. This is new for her. It isn't for me. I almost died on her. She almost died on me. Maybe she has some PTSD and...
,,We are here." John B shuts the engine off.
,,Get it together, JJ." Pope pats my shoulder before getting of the Twinkie. I take a deep breath and open my own door.
The girls are already outside.
,,Are you alright?" Sarah asks so I look up and see all three of them are looking at me.
,,Peachy." I lie and then I hit myself in the head. Why did I said that?!
,,Looks like it." Kie comments with knowing look.
,,Lets just go inside and go to bed. It's late and we had a day." John B decides.
,,I'm not really tired." I say and go to the doc. I sit down and leans agains the wood frame.
No one follows after me, which I am glad. I am not very good company right now.
Kiara
,,What's going on with him?" I ask the boys when JJ leaves.
,,Overreacting." Pope says.
,,Overthinking." John B adds.
,,The usual." they say in union.
,,Should I talk to him or he's mad at me?" I ask them and look in JJ's direction.
,,You know he just needs to cool down." John B reminds me. I know that. I know JJ. But I can't help to just stand here and things are different than before. He's just not my best friend anymore and I can't help but worry even more about him. I wish he could talk to me about anything and everything that's bothers him. Especialy if it's about me or us.
But he's still JJ. He process things alone. He always did and I just thought things would change, but they didn't.
,,Alright." I nod and head inside. I open the fridge but nothing is in there and I am hungry.
,,Hey, Sarah. I'm hungry and nothing is in the fridge, would you go with me to the shop?" I ask her. She's with John B on the porch. Pope and Cleo went somewhere together.
,,Sure." she nods and gets up.
,,You sure it's safe? Wasn't the plan to go here to hide till things clear up?" John B reminds us.
,,The plan was not to be home. We will be quick." I say and head to my car. Sarah hops in quickly after me.
***
Sarah goes ahead with the first bag while I pay for both of the bags. I grab the second one after and follow in her foots steps.
Unfortunately, Rafe parks his car just when I step outside. He gets out and goes to me. I am not afraid because we are at the public and he's trying to show us that he's changed mam.
,,What do you want? Any more ex girlfriends that are coming for me?" I ask him iritated.
,,No. I just... I'm sorry, Kie. For everything that happened. I never apologized even though I should have." he says and looks down for a momemt.
,,I hope you know your apology means nothing to me, Rafe. You almost raped me, shot me and assulted me. Nothing can change the fact that I hate you. You also killed sheriff Peterkins, don't forget that one!" I try to bypass him but he stops me by standing in front of me.
,,I know. I did all of the things. I don't have a good enough excuse. Just that you know I wasn't always like this. Ward changed me... Sarah got away in time, but I didn't. I used the drugs to escape him, but I tried something new that night and to be honest, I don't even remember most of the part. I didn't remember anything for days. And I already told you I wasn't aming at you but JJ and..." I stop him.
,,Do you even listen to yourself? It doesn't matter you weren't aiming at me or you don't remember doing that to me! The thing is that you did that! I know, parents sometime suck. Ward suck, but gues what... Luke suck too and that still didn't make JJ a murder and person who would hurt me or anyone else..." I would continue, if Sarah wouldn't show up.
,,You okey?" she ask me and grabs my hand.
,,Leave her be, Rafe." she says to him and we bypass him.
,,I did love you, Kie." he says behind us. I shoot him a look.
,,I still do. That's why Riley's still onto you even though you might hate me. She wants to hurt me and the only way to that is through you." he adds. I shake my head.
,,You only love yourself, Rafe." I say and we get into my car. Sarah's driving now because I'm too mad, angry, shocked and sad.
,,What did he said?" she asks.
,,Some bullshit and excuses why he did what he did and the rest you heard." I say and fidget with my rings.
,,He said he doesn't even remember most of the night he almost raped me, Sarah." I say and try not to cry.
,,I always thought that at least the night hunted him as it did me! But it doesn't." I wipe my eyes with my hand and look out of the window. She grabs my other hand and squeezes it.
,,He's a bad person, Kie. Don't let him have an once of power over you. Don't give him the satisfaction. You deserve more. You have more. You have us. You have JJ. Forget about him." she says and gives me a kiss on my hand she's holding.
,,I try." I say and stay quiet the rest of the way.
***
,,Finally! What took you so long!? We were worried!" John B stands up and takes the bags from me.
,,We run into Rafe." Sarah says before I can stop her.
,,He was full of shit." she adds.
,,Right." I nod and go inside with John B so I could unload the groceries and eat something.
