Lisa
We all jumped at the loud voice that boomed from behind me. "What the hell is going on here!?"
I turned around and saw Teddy standing in the doorway with more anger in his eyes than I've ever seen. He looked down at the palm I still had open with the baggie and his eyes grew dark with anger. He turned his attention to the guys, "What did I say about loitering around here!?"
"You don't own this alleyway, it's public property." one of the guys leaning against the wall scoffed. Teddy stalked up to him and stared him down, "As much as I want to call the cops because I'm sure they'd love to charge you, idiots, with possession, I think it's time I deal with you guys myself!" He was rolling up the sleeves of his shirt as the guys stood there shell shocked. Teddy was a big guy and while he looked scary when he was mad, most people knew that he was the biggest softie. But these guys didn't know that.
"Alright! Alright!" the guy leaning against the wall put his hands up, "We're leaving!" Teddy and I watched them start walking away sluggishly. They disappeared around the corner and I felt anxious now that I didn't have a buffer. I was terrified to turn around but I didn't have much of a choice because Teddy snatched the bag from my hand and stormed inside.
I squeezed my hand into a fist and followed Teddy. The staff looked at me with nervous eyes when I walked in and I felt like I was back in elementary school being told to go to the principal's office after hitting a boy who pulled my hair.
Teddy appeared from the employee washroom with his hands empty. "Office, now!" was all he said to me. I didn't even get a chance to close the door behind me when he started yelling. "Was what I was saying to you going one ear in and out the other?! Do you have any idea how dangerous that drug in your hand was?!"
My bottom lip trembled as I willed myself not to cry as he kept on yelling.
"Lisa, what on earth would possess you to want to take those pills!? Those pills could ruin your life!"
I couldn't sit still anymore and yelled back, "Don't you think I know that!" Tears that I couldn't hold back anymore streamed down my face, "It just hurts so much in here." I pointed to my chest, "That I just wanted the pain to stop even if it was just temporary!"
Ever since the breakup, I had tried to keep a neutral face in front of everyone. I didn't want them to see how vulnerable I was or that I was weak for crying, but I couldn't keep it inside anymore. Teddy's expression softened as he walked around his desk and hugged me tight which made me cry even harder. "I know I shouldn't have taken it, but I just wanted to numb the feeling." I sobbed into his shoulder. "I just want it to stop."
"I know you're going through a hard time." his voice came out smooth and comforting, "But this isn't how you deal with it." He pulled away and looked me in the eyes, "Sure, it'll make you forget for a little bit, but it won't help you in any way, Lisa."
He sat back on his desk, "I was going through a hard time back then too. I used to be involved in hard drugs like that and I was messed up for a long time." He looked down at his hands, "I know how bad drugs can derail your life. I've been there and I barely made it out. That's why I'm so hard on you guys to stay away from it."
"I didn't know." I replied in a quiet voice.
He sighed, "It's not something that I advertise but if it's going to help you kids stay away from drugs then I'll tell you anything you want to know."
"I promise I always listen when you said to stay away from those guys." I started, "I was just... lost tonight."
He gave my shoulder a pat, "I get it, trust me I do, but if you need to get your mind off of anything, we're all here for you, Lisa."
Tears filled my eyes again but I wiped them away with the back of my hand, "Thanks Teddy. For everything."
He smiled, "I'm here for you, kiddo." He stood up and walked to his desk chair, "Don't let me catch you even looking in their direction ever again or I'll put you in an arm lock. I'm serious, Lisa."
I laughed, "I promise. You'll never find me talking to them ever again."
"Good." he sat down in front of his computer, "Now close the door on the way out."
I grinned knowing that it was hard for Teddy to have heart to heart conversations with people but he did it for me, this wasn't something I took lightly. I opened the door but lingered in the doorway, "I'm sorry for disappointing you, Teddy."
He looked up from his monitor, "I would've only been disappointed if you actually took it, but I won't hold this against you because I know that you're not in the right headspace now."
I made my way to the exit and tried to ignore the stares and sympathetic smiles from other people. It was one thing to be the girl that Jennie Kim dumped, but now I was also the girl that tried to take drugs because she got dumped. My feet dragged on the pavement as I walked home. This day started off great - I got to do my first guide, worked with Somi Jeon, and got glowing reviews from the team – but now it's gone to shit. If this isn't an accurate depiction of my life, I don't know what is.
