Lisa
When you're dreaming with a broken heart, the waking up is the hardest part.
I mouthed along to the words and tapped my fingers on my mattress as I followed the rhythm of the piano to John Mayer's 'Dreaming With a Broken Heart'. Damn, this was such a good song, but right now, it was hitting way too close to home.
People always say that your first love is always hard to get over. But I disagree, I think your second love hits you the hardest.
You see, your second love is the person that you decide to risk it for. The person you grudgingly open yourself up to, after getting your heart broken for the first time round. You trust that person to take care of your heart, knowing that they know how hard it was to give yourself fully again.
It's hard because they were the ones who helped you pick up the pieces, who took the time to bandage your heart and kiss it better, the same way your mom kissed your boo boos when you fell on the playground. Only to be the same person to rip it out and tear it up right in front of you.
But I couldn't place the blame solely on Jennie. It was my fault too. Our relationship always had an expiration date and we both knew that.
When you're dreaming with a broken heart, the giving up is the hardest part.
A tear escaped my eyes and slid down the side of my face.
"God, could you be any more basic?" Lia said as she leaned on my doorframe.
I glared at her but that didn't stop her from continuing, "You were listening to Air Supply all day yesterday, and now you're listening to John Mayer today." She pushed off the doorframe and sat on my bed, "You could be the poster child for - just broke up with the love of my life and now I'm gonna listen to every sad song written in the history of mankind."
I grabbed the pillow from behind my head and hit her multiple times. But the pillow wasn't enough, I ended up throwing my blanket over her as I continued pummelling her with my pillow.
"Mom!" her muffled voice came from under the blanket, "She's beating me up!"
"Because you deserve it!" I yelled over her.
Mom appeared in the doorway crossing her arms, "They told me that daughters would be great because they're so gentle and sweet. This is a good example of how wrong those people were."
"I'm sweet!" Lia protested, while throwing the blanket off of her and pushed my leg.
I retaliated by pinching her thigh, "And I'm gentle."
Mom took a look at my face and knew that I had been crying, "Sweetie, I know breakups are hard and I've been letting you mope around but at some point, you will have to dust yourself off and pick yourself back up. Your sister and I will be here to help, but it's ultimately all you."
"Speak for yourself mama." Lia scoffed then looked at me with a playful smile. It was the first time since the break-up that I had a genuine smile on my face. Mom was right, I could always count on her and Lia to be there for me and I was more than okay with that.
