Mistakes [Completed]

Chapter 1

Dear Jeon Jungkook,

How are you? How have you been? Have you been taking care of yourself properly? And what about your sleep? Do you still have trouble sleeping in the dark? I wish I could be there and help you, but I guess you don't want and neither do you need me to do that anymore.

Today, it's been 3 years since I last saw you, on the night before our graduation. I remember how I didn't even cry while telling you everything that I had been hiding from you. I honestly felt like I was betraying you by not sharing this truth about myself, but I just couldn't gather up the courage to face the reality that one day, very soon I won't have my father in my life. It was stupid of me to think that it was only one person that I'd be losing on the same day.

It's been 3 years since you broke your promise of never leaving me, but I still look for you everywhere. I still hope to see you at our favourite spots, but something tells me that if you didn't even look back before, then why would you now? There's no reason for you to look back, not even my love for you. When I said that I've always loved you and that I always will, I really meant it because I still  do.

Though, I know you don't, and I'm still okay with it because I know that I can't ever force you to love me. I keep re- reading your journal that you left for me in Jimin-ah's hands and I always get stuck around those pages where you said that you loved me. Even though it was you who wrote it, I still can't believe it. It's hard. Why did you have to leave me so suddenly? Did I do something wrong? Or was it the truth I told you that night? I'd completely understand if you left because you didn't want to be with someone who had an emotional baggage that weighed more than his own weight. I understand. And I forgive you. I really do.

You were my entire world, Jeon Jungkook. You really were. Your smile alone brought light into my life and your laugh was absolutely music to my ears. I swear I could hear you laugh for hours and still not be tired. I loved how you cared for me, or at least pretended to. I loved and still love every little thing about you. But if, someday, we do happen to cross each other, then I don't think that I will look at you like everything's still the same.

It has taken me three years to finally accept that you were once my entire world, you still are, but I just don't know anymore. I have someone else. I finally have someone who loves me and is not afraid to tell me that he does. I love him and he is my world now. He is my happiness and I am his. He's my strength and I'm his.

This is the last time that I'm writing in this journal because I've finally accepted the fact that you're not coming back to me. I just hope that wherever you are, you're happy. I truly hope that whoever you're with, they keep you happy, more than I ever did. I hope they love you and you love them. I hope you know that whoever you're with, is probably a really lucky person to have someone like you. I have always hoped for your happiness and I always will.

My dearest, Jeon Jungkook, I've always loved you and I always will. I love you, but now I'm finally ready to accept the fact that I should love myself and the people who have actually been there for me through everything.

You will always have my heart.
Forever yours,
Kim Taehyung.

Taehyung smiled to himself as he kept the pen down and closed the journal, once and for all. For the first time in 3 years, had he written his feelings and thoughts down in the journal that Jungkook had left for him and hadn't cried. He didn't shed a single tear tonight because he was finally ready.