Mistakes [Completed]

Chapter 54

(Jungkook's POV)

I didn't need Jimin or Yoongi hyung to tell me that I was stupid when I said that I hadn't ever seen or read a news about Taehyung in the last three years. There were several times that I wanted to, when my mother and Yugyeom- they tried making me see it, but I refused.

I don't know why.

But I didn't know that I'd regret not hearing about him someday. I do now, though. The regret hit me like a huge tidal wave as soon as Sehun said that he had seen Taehyung, the love of my life, turn into the man he is today. It hurt me so much, but I knew that there was no one else to be blamed here. It was like, one after another, my mistakes were coming up like I had never realized.

I hated this so much. Hurting Taehyung and my Hyungs. I hate myself so much for it.

I forgot to keep the count of just how many times I had mentally cursed myself while Jimin hyung was walking back and forth in front Yoongi hyung and I.

And I don't know what happened or what thought he had which made him run into one of the rooms behind me and come back with a notebook in his hands.

"Jimin-ah, what's this?" Yoongi hyung asked, voicing my very own question as I stared at the guy standing in front of me. All through this time, Jimin hyung was looking between the notebook and me, as if he was confused with his own actions.

"I think Jungkook might just know."

And that's when I realized what it was.

How can I not?

I swear I've never felt my hands shake so much before, as they were now. This was my journal.

The journal I had left for Taehyung.

My eyes couldn't move anywhere else, except between hyung and the journal. Had he not given this to him like I asked him to?

"Hyu.. Hyung.. You didn't give this to Ta- Taehyung?"

"I did. Taehyung-ah kept this with him all through out these years, but gave it back to me a few weeks ago." Jimin answered, sitting next to his fiancé and faced the younger. "He gave this to me before you came."

Not just my fingers, my entire body was frozen to the spot while clutching to the journal in my hands. The leather brown color that I remembered seeing last, seemed more faded now and the thread which was supposed to keep the entire thing together looked like it was going to give up any time soon. Some pages were peeping out at different angles from the journal, and the entire thing seemed more heavier than I last remembered.

The cover felt rough, and the corners were folded too.

I don't know why, but at that moment a bitter chuckle escaped my lips seeing the condition of the journal, because it seemed as if the Journal; this thing had seen more of Taehyung than I had.

"Taehyung has been writing in your journal ever since you left. Whenever I went over to his house, at night, he would take this with himself to the balcony and sit there for hours." Jimin hyung said, giving me an apologetic smile.

"Some times, he came back with red, swollen eyes, but sometimes he seemed happy. Like he was content after telling yo- I mean after writing it in the journal."

He wrote in this? I didn't.. It never occurred to me that he'd do that.

I wanted to tear it open, skip through the pages that I had filled and jump onto the ones with his handwriting on them, but I knew that once I did that, there was no going back. I would be in tears just by reading it.