A Lot More Hermitcraft Stuff

Innocent Jokes (one-shot)

mwahaahahahaahahaahahahaa  b e   s c a r e d

also for context, all the shadows have little meet ups at new moons (also also im not using fonts for any dialogue because that takes too long -.-')

   ~*~

"I swear it's gotten bigger," Joke muttered, squinting up at Grian's base.

"That's what she said!" Corrupt sang, earning groans and laughs from the other shadows.

"No, that's what I said!" Joke argued with a confused expression on his face. "I'm not a she!"

"Do you... seriously not know what a that's-what-she-said joke is?" Chaos asked, an amused smile creeping onto her face.

"That's a thing?" Joke raised an eyebrow curiously. "Why is that a thing? It doesn't make any sense! Like, at all!"

"Dude it's a sex joke," Daze growled.

"What's sex?" Every shadow in the clearing looked towards Joke who was staring back with a confused face.

"You've gotta be kidding me..." Parody muttered, chuckling slightly. "You're telling me. And every other shadow here. That you seriously don't know what sex is?"

"I don't!" Joke exclaimed, eyes wide with confusion. "Is it a food? Is it a game?"

Corrupt broke down into laughter and beside him, Spite was covering his mouth and trying to contain his giggles. Parody was laughing painfully and Game had lost his breath while wheezing. Memory's face had flushed darker and even Warp had buried his face in his arms from second-hand embarrassment.

"Joke I swear to god..." Insidious muttered, head held in his hand. "How do you- what- even- eVEN RIFT KNOWS WHAT IT IS!"

"Seriously?!" Joke gaped, looking at Rift. "Rift! What is it?!"

Rift broke down in a fit of painful laughter, holding his head in his hands and trying to calm down. "I-I can't tell you..." he wheezed, still shaking from his fit.

"Why don't we play the guessing game?" Game suggested, giggling between his words. "Joke, can you guess what se-" He broke down laughing again, unable to finish his sentence.

"Alright fine!" Joke agreed, crossing his arms indignantly. "What's sex? I don't know! Is it food?"

Scorn snorted. "Technically speaking, yes," she responded, earning a hard nudge from Jealousy. "Don't tell him!" he hissed.

"Yes please don't," Chaos chuckled. "I want to have this power over him, so please keep him innocent for god's sake."

"Nooo!" Joke whined. "Tell me what it is! Is it a game?"

Terror broke down with laughter and Fault shook her head. "If we're gonna play with technicalities," Terror gasped through laughs. "Then yes. It can be a game."

"I'm going to kill all of you," Memory muttered, face flushed darker.

"Just tell him what it fucking means!" Daze hissed, glaring at everyone.

Xyresic sighed. "Well Joke. Sex is when-"

Jealousy leapt up and tackled Xyresic, desperately covering his mouth. "Ḋ̴̞Ỏ̸̧N̵̥̽'̴̮̋T̷̛̺ ̵̼̓Ỹ̶̥Ő̶̩U̷̖̽ ̴̫̅D̴̀ͅÃ̷ͅŘ̴͓Ë̷̯́!̶͉̌" Jealousy growled. "We're keeping him innocent."

"Oh c'mon!" Kooky giggled, turning to Joke. "My dear Joke, sex means-" Bleak quickly slapped a hand over his mouth, glaring. "Don't you fucking dare."

Someone tapped him on the shoulder and Joke turned around to see Warp. Warp held up his own hand, then held up Joke's hand, and interlaced them. Beside him, Rift wheezed and buried his head in his hands, trying to contain his giggles.

"Warp I think that's the worst way you could have demonstrated that," Intercept said, covering his mouth to contain his laughter.

"You see Joke." The confused, innocent shadow turned to Parody, eyes wide with curiosity. "Sex is when um... lovers decide to... interlace... their relationship..." The taller shadow flushed darker, laughing painfully under his breath.

"PARODY THAT DOESN'T HELP!" Zero yelled, glaring at the taller.

Joke felt a tug on his wrist and was suddenly dragged away. "Meeting over," Exploit's voice muttered, his face blushed darker.

"What- hey!" Joke whined, struggling in his grip. "I wanna find out!"

"Later," came Exploit's response. "Stay innocent for now."

"Exploittt!"

   ~*~

Joke is a little trickster, but he's just too innocent for his own good :')

also Parody trying to explain what sex is to Joke gives me life xD