𝐃𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐤 𝐇𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐈𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬

Perfect now

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Request for theonewhoisnamed, enjoy. xx

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"I've already told you that I don't want to talk about it." I say, throwing my bag onto the ground as I rush into our bedroom, the sound of the door closing being a distant noise as he's behind me in seconds. "It's nothing. I'm fine, really." I say, softer this time when I realize how utterly confused Derek must be.

"You don't sound fine." He offers carefully, lightly tugging my arm to turn me around, eyes softening when they meet mine. "Something upset you at the party and I will never force you to talk about something that you don't want to talk about, but I hate seeing you upset." He smiles barely and moves his fingers over my arm slowly. "I hate it even more if I can't do anything to make you feel better." He admits, looking down slightly when I hesitantly smile back at him.

"You're sweet." I say, stepping forward to hug him, loosely grasping onto his sides. "I really am fine though, promise." I tell him, kissing his chest before pulling away. "Now, go change, I know how much you hate wearing that stupid dress shirt." I end, purposely painting a smile on my lips as I numbly direct him into the direction of the bathroom. He hovers for a second, not for a second believing me.

"I love you, Zo." He tells me quickly, frowning slightly as he turns to leave, the shower turning on a few second later and I release an unsteady breath as I clutch onto my stomach, heart sinking even deeper somehow.

I look around the room carefully, searching for the bag of clothes I brought over this morning and without my permission I catch an unwanted glimpse of my reflection in the mirror, brows furrowing as the sight settles itself in my mind. I turn towards it, allowing my eyes to rake over every feature, hands following to hide every imperfection as soon as I see it, fingers stilling at my hips where the dress is quite a bit tighter than it was a month ago and I shift my legs to look at the back, seeing the same situation. And I let out another sigh, shakier this time as I swallow down the knot in my throat, fighting to defend myself against the thoughts forming in my head.

"You looked beautiful tonight." Derek says suddenly and I jump slightly, startled by his silent re-entry into the room. "I could barely keep my eyes off you." He adds, smiling to himself as he pulls on a white vest to accompany his grey sweatpants. "I also caught a few other glances of gentlemen who felt the same." He comments, playfully giving me a stern glance before laughing softly, eyes meeting mine in the mirror.

"I hardly think that's true." I reply, not matching his tone at all. "It couldn't be." I say, shaking my head lightly with a soft scoff.

"Of course, it is." Derek informs me and walks towards me quickly, not breaking eyes contact as he stills at my back, hands instinctively moving to my waist. "You looked marvelous, breathtaking." He smiles. "I was but your humble escort, because not an eye in the room made it past you long enough to even notice me."

"Derek, stop." I say, unnecessarily annoyed as I gently swat his hands away from my side, noticing his confusion in the mirror as I walk away.

"What did I do?"

"Nothing." I reply just as quickly as he asked the question, closing my eyes for a second as I kick off my heels. "You didn't do anything. You're perfect. I just can't cope with the complements right now." I say, opening my eyes to object to myself as the words meet my ears. "I didn't mean it like that. I just don't feel particularly beautiful at the moment and hearing you tell me that I am, just somehow makes me feel even worse." I admit, shaking my head as I tiredly turn to look at him. "I sound ridiculous."

"No, you sound completely not ridiculous." He says, pausing for a moment to rethink his sentence before shrugging. "Your feelings are perfectly valid and you are totally entitled to feel utterly appalled by my compliments of your beauty." He sighs. "I will however not stand for any Zoya slander in this household, so I would carefully and sweetly insist that we talk about this."

"Very diplomatic." I say, smiling carefully as he looks me over.

"I don't want to upset you any more than you already are, I just want to understand." He says sheepishly and I nod, heart warming by the second as I look over at this man, this ridiculously kind man who fights his own demons daily yet so easily drops it all at the drop of a hat because I was feeling a little sad.

"They look at us." I say and he tilts his head. "You and I, when we do things together, people stare, they're all wondering the same thing. They're all simply curious as to why in the hell you're with me." I explain and lift a hand to stop him from talking. "I know you love me and I love you more than I could ever put into worlds, sometimes I just wish I was a little less me and little more like the girl you should be with."

"Zoya." He begins, stopping himself with a shaky sigh as he walks towards me. "I don't think you understand just how much you mean to me. I don't think I ever for a second deserved to have found someone who makes me feel so much joy, so much joy that somehow every dark spec of my existence is overflowed by the overwhelming light that you bring." He takes my hand carefully. "I see your insecurities; I hear your heart and I know that words are just words and I couldn't possibly undo the scrutiny in the eyes which you look at yourself with. I just wish you could even for a second see yourself from my point of view and know just what you are to me. "

"I wish I could too." I say and grip his hand tighter. "But the stupid dress is smaller, and I've somehow defied the laws of exercise because the butt just stays fat and muffins make me happy, so why can't I have them. And I just cry, when I have to buy new pants, I cry. And I find myself waiting to be pretty, to eat guiltfree in public and dance in a room full of people without any embarrassment.  And I feel like shit, because no matter how many times you say it and no matter how much I wish I could just believe it, I find myself waiting to be worthy of your love." I sniffle softly as tears delicately trickle down my cheeks. "Worthy of my own love, but I don't know where to start." I admit barely and he pulls me into his chest.

"You start right here." He offers surely, holding on tightly and I ball his shirt between my fingers. "And we move forward together. I will love you, until you learn to love yourself and I will hold you when you break, and I will help you collect the pieces and glue them back together." He moves his hands into my hair as he attentively kisses the top of my head. "I will remind you that even when the tears are falling down, still, somehow, you're perfect now."

"I love you." I say almost silently, closing my eyes against him.

"And I love." He says and pulls me even closer. "Enough for the both of us."

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Not me being admitted into the hospital before I could finish your requests. My sincerest apologies for the delay friends, I am home and doing better every day and I will be writing and publishing the last remaining request in this week. 

I hoped you like this Zoya, truth be told, imagines like these hit a little close to home so I tend to keep them a little short, I do however hope that it matches what you had in mind and also embodies some of the meaning in the song like you asked. Please let me know what you think. 

Lots of love. Mxx.