Arranged Marriage (skz)

Chapter 27

Jisung sighs, letting himself side down the shower wall. He pulls his knees to his chest while the water falls down. He might be losing an other hyung and it will be his fault again, if he had just listened to Minho and payed more attention to what was happening on the road Minho wouldn't have needed to push him away. If that didn't happen Minho wouldn't have gotten hurt.

"Fuck!"

He turned on his music loudly so that the others couldn't hear him if they walked past his room, not that any of them are going to come and check on him for a bit probably. He doesn't want them to, they need to be focused on helping out Minho and not him, he is fine.

Besides sitting in the shower still fully clothes, cursing at himself while also crying.

He doesn't know how Minho is doing right now, he didn't want to go and pass by the room. Too afraid the others might be angry with him when they find out that he is the reason Minho got hurt.




Chan frowns as he walks down the hallway, hearing the music blasting from Jisung and Changbin's bedroom. He knows that neither of them play their music this loudly and Changbin is still downstairs helping Lia with dinner, which is a risk he is willing to take today. Chan sighs, opening the door to the bedroom.

"Jisung?" Chan looks around the room before realizing he is in the shower. Chan walks over to the shower, knocking on the door before slowly entering. "Sung? Baby?"

Jisung whimpers, making himself as small as possible in the hope that Chan doesn't notice him.

Chan looks over at the shower, seeing Jisung sitting on the ground still in all his clothes. He quickly walks over, turning off the shower. "Ji? Baby? What's wrong?"

Jisung shakes his head, failing to keep in a sob.

Chan quickly kneels down. "Hey hey it's okay baby, everything is okay." Chan pulls Jisung onto his lap, not caring if he is soaking wet. Jisung hides his face into Chan's neck, no longer keeping his sobs in. Chan rubs Jisung's back, just letting the boy cry before asking him any questions about what is going on.

"I can't lose him hyung..."

"You won't Sung, he is going to be fine. Seunminnie and Innie are taking good care of him. He is going to be fine, he isn't leaving us any time soon baby."

"I'm sorry hyung."

Chan frowns "Why Ji? Why would you be sorry?"

Jisung pulls away from Chan, looking down at the ground while tears are still falling down his face.
"It's my fault. Why is it always my fault? I keep trying to make everything go well and even then something goes wrong every single time and it's my fault!" Jisung balls his hands into fist next to his body. Getting more and more worked up.
Chan bites his lip, not sure what to say to him.

"All I want is to be good enough. Be someone this family can lean on but turns out I just bring misfortune everywhere I go. And now we are going to lose Minho hyung and it will be my fault, again!"

Chan takes a deep breath, trying really hard not to let any tears fall down as he carefully takes Jisung's hands into his own.

"Ji listen to me okay?"

Jisung looks up at Chan, making it even harder for Chan to not start crying with Jisung.

"Baby it is not your fault. All the things that have gone wrong in the past, they were not your fault. I promise you, it was never your fault and it never will be."

Jisung shakes his head not believing what Chan is saying. "You left me, cause I'm not good enough." He mumbles, looking back down at the ground.

"Ji baby no, I didn't leave you. I'm never going to leave you. Look I made decisions in the past without even thinking about what kind of consequences they would have and what it would do to us. And because of that I hurt you and Binnie so so much and I will do anything to fix what I have broken. But it is not your fault baby, never. We are family and we always will be, all the boys are going to stay. I promise you Minho will be okay, he won't go out like this. He can't leave like this and he knows that, he will fight till the bitter end. So he is going to be okay, just believe in him baby. He will come back, please don't blame yourself for what happened."

Jisung stays quiet as more tears fall down his face. He knew Minho was strong and probably would make it. But he is scared to lose him, he doesn't want to lose yet an other important person in his life.

"I'm sorry for hurting you baby." Chan pulls Jisung back into a hug, hiding his face in the youngers hair as tears start falling down. He hated the way Jisung thought of himself and he had hoped that it had gotten better but it clearly didn't. They have been trying for years to make Jisung understand that not every bad thing that happens is his fault but his parents said it for so long that the boy would probably never learn that it isn't his fault. And that's one of the many reason why him, Minho and Changbin would fight Jisungs parents if they were still alive.